Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Dr. Orthochick: Unnecessary tests

Me: I don't think we need to order an MRI. He probably has a meniscus tear, but he has so much other stuff going on that it's not like we're going to do anything about it.

Dr. Douche: What are the drawbacks to getting an MRI?

Me: Cost

Dr. Douche: Are you paying for his MRI?

Me: Not directly...

Dr. Douche: Does he have to pay for his MRI?

Me: Uh, I think so.

Dr. Douche: No, it's covered in the copay. So the only person who has to pay for this is the taxpayers. So there are no drawbacks associated to getting an MRI. Order an MRI.

...and that's why healthcare costs are so high. Because there's no downside to ordering expensive and unnecessary tests.

Monday, July 28, 2014

What's that noise?

Me: "Oh my God, what's that beeping noise? It's so annoying! Where's it coming from?"

Husband: "Isn't that your pager?"

Me: "Oh. You're right."

What can I say? I don't get paged a lot.

Sunday, July 27, 2014


If you read and enjoyed Suicide Med, please consider leaving a review on Amazon! I would be incredibly grateful.

If you read and did not like it, please consider keeping that information to yourself!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Weekly Whine: Daycare, Part 3

I mentioned last week about how I felt the daycare wasn't feeding Babygirl enough. That was bad enough, but what ended up happening is they became completely obsessed with her clothing.

I have to admit, Babygirl did not have the best clothing. A lot of it was used, some stained. But seriously, they grow out of clothing so fast, I couldn't bring myself to buy new, beautiful clothing for her. I'm just not that kind of person.

Anyway, one time the director of the daycare called me at work, and said she had to talk to me about something important. Apparently, Babygirl’s teachers had complained that the outfit she was wearing that day had stains on it.

I assure you, the outfit was 100% clean. I guess the stains did not come out in the wash and my husband, who dressed her, didn't care. I really didn't think it was that big a deal, but they said it had happened before, and were acting like they were going to call child protective services. They didn't say that, but it was how I felt.

Later, I got a similarly ominous phone call from the daycare director, complaining that I dressed Babygirl in a onesie for daycare. It was the middle of July and I didn't think that was inappropriate. But apparently it was.

Meanwhile, they weren’t even feeding her.

I was actually crying over the whole thing. In retrospect, I think it was ridiculous. But at the time, it made me feel like a terrible mother. I started buying new clothes just for the daycare.

I especially didn't like the fact that the teachers didn't tell me directly and instead reported me to the director. The director claimed it was because they didn't want to damage their relationship with me, but it really made me hate them. Finally, I said to one of them, “If you have any issues with Babygirl, please talk to me directly."

And the woman said to me, "OK, now that you gave me permission, I can talk to you directly."

Honestly, I felt like I was on crazy pills. What kind of daycare is this where your teacher needs permission to talk to you about your own child?

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Dr. Orthochick: Self-defense

I was palpating a guy's biceps tendon today in clinic when he grabbed my hand, twisted it behind my back, and put me in a headlock.

Patient: Oh, sorry, Doc. I should have warned you about that.

I guess that counts as a positive test. Also, never do a physical exam on a military guy without backup.

(It actually kind of hurt my wrist, but that wrist has been hurting for around a week now. I reduced a hip last Friday and I must have been positioned wrong because i felt a pop in my wrist and it's been sort of sore ever since. I was worried I tore something (TFCC came to mind) but I have full motion and almost full strength, so I don't think I did. But it's been clicking nonstop since then and having it forcefully twisted behind my back really didn't help the situation)

Monday, July 21, 2014

Cursing at work

Colleague: "I can't believe we lost the fucking nursing home bed for this patient."

Me: "..."

Colleague: "Please excuse my language."

I don't mean to look so offended when somebody curses at work in my presence. I'm not actually offended.

But it does seem out of place to me. I don't curse at work or at home or really anywhere. At home, I don't want my kids to pick up that habit. And at work, I just don't think it's appropriate.

But on the other hand, I don't want a reputation as the prude who doesn't like it when people curse. Hey, it's not like I complain out loud or anything.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Weekly Whine: Daycare, Part 2

Our previous daycare worked really well for my older daughter, but I ended up having a lot of problems with my younger one. I was constantly unhappy, yet hesitant to switch because we had been with them for a while and I trusted them to at least keep the kids safe. Plus they had the best hours in town.

Babygirl has always been a picky eater. When it came to breastmilk from the source, she was eager, but not so much for bottles. And not so much for real food now.

Anyway, I would bring four 5-ounce bottles to daycare every day for Babygirl to drink. At the end of the day, two of them would usually still be completely full.

Of course, being a pumping mom, my main gripe initially was that I had to throw out the milk in those two bottles because they were defrosted. But then it became clear that my daughter was not getting anywhere near the amount of nutrition she should have. I suspect that even the two bottles she was having were not being finished because they didn't have the patience to sit with her while she took her time.

In any case, I watched Babygirl’s weight drop from 25% to 10% and then below 5%. The pediatrician was concerned.

I did complain, but things didn't improve until she was eating solid foods. And even then, her weight was low for a while. Now she's back up to a healthy 50%.

I guess this problem is a side effect of having a baby in daycare, where they can’t get one-on-one attention as much. But I was annoyed that the daycare didn't seem to be making any effort. For example, when she was one year old, during snack time, all the kids got water. I brought a note for the pediatrician saying that she should get milk during snack time, but they continued to give her water. It was like they really just didn't care about her at all.

Friday, July 18, 2014


I'd like to try to get a little bit more exposure for my new book Suicide Med. For that reason, if you have a blog or something similar and are willing to do a review, I'd like to send you a free Kindle copy. Also, if you have a really popular Twitter or Facebook account, I'd be happy to give you a copy in exchange for a positive mention of the book.

Read an excerpt here.

Any takers? Email me at fizzziatrist(at)gmail.com.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Fender Bender

Say the following happened:

Two cars are involved in a fender bender in which one car was clearly at fault. It was a relatively slow-moving collision in which the cars were hardly damaged and 99% of the time, nobody would be hurt.

However, the passenger in the car that was hit has a bleeding disorder. She gets a mild bump on the head and as a result has significant bleeding in her brain. As a result, she has such severe cognitive deficits that she can never work again.

Should the person who hit her now be sued for financial responsibility for her care for the rest of her life, when it was a minor accident that would have caused no injury in the vast majority of people?