Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Dr. Orthochick: Self-defense

I was palpating a guy's biceps tendon today in clinic when he grabbed my hand, twisted it behind my back, and put me in a headlock.

Patient: Oh, sorry, Doc. I should have warned you about that.

I guess that counts as a positive test. Also, never do a physical exam on a military guy without backup.

(It actually kind of hurt my wrist, but that wrist has been hurting for around a week now. I reduced a hip last Friday and I must have been positioned wrong because i felt a pop in my wrist and it's been sort of sore ever since. I was worried I tore something (TFCC came to mind) but I have full motion and almost full strength, so I don't think I did. But it's been clicking nonstop since then and having it forcefully twisted behind my back really didn't help the situation)

Monday, July 21, 2014

Cursing at work

Colleague: "I can't believe we lost the fucking nursing home bed for this patient."

Me: "..."

Colleague: "Please excuse my language."

I don't mean to look so offended when somebody curses at work in my presence. I'm not actually offended.

But it does seem out of place to me. I don't curse at work or at home or really anywhere. At home, I don't want my kids to pick up that habit. And at work, I just don't think it's appropriate.

But on the other hand, I don't want a reputation as the prude who doesn't like it when people curse. Hey, it's not like I complain out loud or anything.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Weekly Whine: Daycare, Part 2

Our previous daycare worked really well for my older daughter, but I ended up having a lot of problems with my younger one. I was constantly unhappy, yet hesitant to switch because we had been with them for a while and I trusted them to at least keep the kids safe. Plus they had the best hours in town.

Babygirl has always been a picky eater. When it came to breastmilk from the source, she was eager, but not so much for bottles. And not so much for real food now.

Anyway, I would bring four 5-ounce bottles to daycare every day for Babygirl to drink. At the end of the day, two of them would usually still be completely full.

Of course, being a pumping mom, my main gripe initially was that I had to throw out the milk in those two bottles because they were defrosted. But then it became clear that my daughter was not getting anywhere near the amount of nutrition she should have. I suspect that even the two bottles she was having were not being finished because they didn't have the patience to sit with her while she took her time.

In any case, I watched Babygirl’s weight drop from 25% to 10% and then below 5%. The pediatrician was concerned.

I did complain, but things didn't improve until she was eating solid foods. And even then, her weight was low for a while. Now she's back up to a healthy 50%.

I guess this problem is a side effect of having a baby in daycare, where they can’t get one-on-one attention as much. But I was annoyed that the daycare didn't seem to be making any effort. For example, when she was one year old, during snack time, all the kids got water. I brought a note for the pediatrician saying that she should get milk during snack time, but they continued to give her water. It was like they really just didn't care about her at all.

Friday, July 18, 2014


I'd like to try to get a little bit more exposure for my new book Suicide Med. For that reason, if you have a blog or something similar and are willing to do a review, I'd like to send you a free Kindle copy. Also, if you have a really popular Twitter or Facebook account, I'd be happy to give you a copy in exchange for a positive mention of the book.

Read an excerpt here.

Any takers? Email me at fizzziatrist(at)gmail.com.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Fender Bender

Say the following happened:

Two cars are involved in a fender bender in which one car was clearly at fault. It was a relatively slow-moving collision in which the cars were hardly damaged and 99% of the time, nobody would be hurt.

However, the passenger in the car that was hit has a bleeding disorder. She gets a mild bump on the head and as a result has significant bleeding in her brain. As a result, she has such severe cognitive deficits that she can never work again.

Should the person who hit her now be sued for financial responsibility for her care for the rest of her life, when it was a minor accident that would have caused no injury in the vast majority of people?

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Lunch fail

Now that we're at a new daycare, I have to start making lunch every day for my picky three-year-old. Unfortunately, there are two rules we must follow:

1) food can neither be refrigerated nor heated

2) food cannot contain any sort of nuts

My daughter likes ham, so most days I've been sending her to school with ham and cheese sandwiches. She seems pretty unwilling to eat any other sort of lunch meat, so it must be ham. I put in a frozen go-gurt in order to keep it cold for lunch. Anyway, the last few days, we've been getting back the leftovers from her lunch: two pieces of bread and a piece of cheese. So essentially, she's just eating the ham and the yogurt.

I'm using massive quantities of bread lately, so it's tempting to just give her a big stack of ham. But that seems like bad parenting. I have no idea what to do for lunch now.

Any ideas would be appreciated.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Dr. Orthochick: Foley?

Dr. Alcoholic: I did a 9 hour surgery yesterday.

Me: Wow. Did you have to pee at all?

Scrub tech: Did she really just ask you that?

Dr. Alcoholic: I think she did

Scrub tech: She asks you one question about the surgery and it's that?

Dr. Alcoholic: I guess that's the only thing she cares about.

(For those of you who care, the answer is yes, he did have to scrub out to pee. And I actually do think that's an important question. I mean, what if I do a 9-hour surgery? Then is it OK for me to leave to pee or do I have to plan ahead and wear a diaper?)

Monday, July 14, 2014

Pain Tolerance

I think it's every doctor's pet peeve when the patient says that they have a high pain intolerance.

It's probably mostly because patients who say that almost invariably have a very low pain tolerance. Patients who say that are always the worst babies and always the ones constantly begging for pain medications. I don't know if the patients are lying or just have so little insight into themselves.

I don't think I have a high pain tolerance. I think I actually have a pretty low pain intolerance, and that I am sensitive to even small amounts of pain. But on the other hand, I'm not much of a complainer in general. When I was in labor, the nurse kept yelling at me that I had to tell her when my pain level was high. She said to me, "You're too quiet! I can't tell if you're having pain or not!"

How about you? What's your pain tolerance?

Sunday, July 13, 2014