Friday, October 9, 2015


This is just an example of how ridiculous ICD 10. These are the codes I came up with when I tried to type in pedestrian hit by a car, which is a common occurrence that should be easy to look up:

So it's easier to code for somebody injured on a kayak than being hit by a car?

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

WTF abbreviations?

I have to say, after number of years of being a doctor, I am familiar with most abbreviations the people use. But I have to say, this exam was completely unintelligible to me:

Saturday, October 3, 2015

ICD 10

This week, I have been in ICD 10 hell.

I understand needing a new coding system to address new diseases or whatever. (Actually, I don't entirely understand.)  But so far, it's been a big pain in the butt.

One problem that I see right off is that it seems to expect us to have much greater knowledge than we actually have. If a person had a stroke, you have to know the exact reason why they had the stroke. Ditto with any other medical condition. Because medical knowledge is apparently perfect.  

Also, the diagnoses are ridiculously long.  Take E08.329, which is:

"Diabetes mellitus due to underlying condition with severe nonproliferative diabetic retinopathy without macular edema"

It took reading that three times just to absorb what it actually meant, much less figure out if it applies to my patient. It seems like the goal of this coding system is to make our heads hurt.  If that's the case, it has succeeded big-time.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Useful vaccines

Woman: "my granddaughter is getting vaccinated, but I'm not sure if she should get all the vaccines available."

Me: "She should if the pediatrician recommends it. Which one are you concerned about?"

Woman: "the vaccine for HIV."

Me: "Wow. She should definitely get that one."

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Weekly Whine: Lost

I was complaining to my mother the other day that I found it hard to get to an ATM, and I never ended up having enough cash on me.  She said to me, "I'll give you some cash next time I see you. Just don't lose it."

I found that remark completely baffling. She says that to me all the time, whenever she gets me something, that I shouldn't lose it.

The confusing thing is that there is absolutely nothing I have ever done to make her think that I would lose money that she gave me. Even as a kid, I never lost things. And as an adult, I definitely don't lose things.  

Is there a point when your parents stop thinking of you as a three-year-old?

Thursday, September 24, 2015

2 Driving Stories

This is a story about something that happened to a friend of mine:

A while back, he was parked in a lot during his kids ball game. Somebody was pulling out of another space and smashed into the back of his car. Then they drove away without stopping or leaving a note.

However, as it turned out, my friend was actually in the car. He got bored during the ball game and was sitting in his car, playing with his phone. He got out of the car after the impact, but the woman who hit him apparently didn't notice in her eagerness to speed away.

But he did see her license plate and wrote it down. They managed to find her and she had to pay for the damage to his car and there were some charges for having driven away.

Moral: if you smash into somebody's car, leave a note.

This is a second driving story that I also found kind of satisfying. It also happened to a friend of mine.

She was pulling alongside another car, and her rearview mirror scraped against the other car's mirror. She was at fault, and she pulled over to exchange information.

Unfortunately, the old guy that she hit was a huge jerk. He started blaming her for all sorts of other damage to his car and yelling at her for having a car that was "too big." (She had several children so she had an SUV, but it wasn't that big.)

Anyway, a week later, she was shopping at a department store, when she ran into none other than the old man who gave her a hard time after the accident. Bizarrely, the man was actually shoplifting. She saw him stuffing products from the store into his pockets surreptitiously. Nothing huge... she said that he took a coffee filter or something like that.

In any case, she alerted the store management on the way out.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

New release!

"What is your pain level on a scale of 1 to 10, where zero would be no pain, and 10 would be if you had an attack of kidney stones while in active labor, and while all that was going on, you were set on fire. Starting with your genitals. And then you were disemboweled, and the bowels that were removed were then also set on fire. And then while you were running around in active labor, passing a kidney stone, on fire with your bowels also on fire, you accidentally stepped on a Lego with your bare foot. And that Lego was also on fire."

"It's an 11."

At long last, I have assembled the book of humorous medical short stories that I've been talking about for freaking ever:

We've got 36 stories for you: true, fiction, and in-between. Admittedly, about 25% of them are stories you may have read on this blog or another, but at least 75% is entirely new material. I worked really hard to put together an enjoyable experience for you.

Please check it out!

After much thought and discussion, I've decided that all profits will be going to Deworm the World Initiative. It's incredibly sad that there are children out there who are riddled with parasitic infections that they could be rid of for a medicine that costs only pennies. Even if you don't want to buy the book, consider donating individually to this worthy charity.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Hand sanitizer challenge

I contend that there is far too much hand sanitizer in the dispensers at hospitals.

This is the amount of foamed hand sanitizer that was dispensed into my hand:

This is the amount that is still left after 15 seconds of scrubbing:

After 30 seconds, it was mostly gone, although my hands were still somewhat damp.

Honestly, I think it's way too much.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015


I am almost done working on the stories anthology, but I'm still paranoid about typos. Would anybody like to volunteer to read through the anthology just to look for typos? Not grammar errors, not anything else, just blatant typos like missing words or whatever.

If you can do it within the next day or two, please send me an email! It would be much appreciated.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Weekly Whine: Women are slow

Seriously, why do women take so long to use the bathroom?

Being a woman myself, I really don't understand it. I feel like when I am waiting for a woman to get out of the bathroom, I am just waiting forever. Whereas two or three men will come out in that period of time. What takes so long???

You'd think since they take so long, they would at least be able to clean up the urine splashes I find on the seat like 1/3 of the time.

I think I must take less time to use the bathroom than any other woman. I'm the only woman who gets out before my husband. I wash my hands, I swear.