This was my experience doing Pain Medicine:
A few more:
What the doctor says: "Can you point with one finger to where your pain is?"
What the patient hears: "Can you wave your hand around in a huge circle to tell me where your pain is?"
What the doctor says: "What is your pain level on a scale of 1 to 10?"
What the patient hears: "Can you review your pain level with every possible activity you can think of on a scale of 1 to 20."
What the doctor says: "What medications are you taking?"
What the patient hears: "Can you describe the color and size of no more than half of the pills you're taking?"
What the doctor says: "Do you have any other medical problems?"
What the patient hears: "Can you give me a detailed history of how all your other medical problems were diagnosed? And if you have any major medical problems, like diabetes, I don't need to know about those."
"Can you do something about my constipation?"ReplyDelete
^-- Point with one finger to where it hurts --^ReplyDelete
Had four sciatica/miagrane patients today....so dead on, it's not funny.ReplyDelete
My attending would get so frustrated, he'd say, "Point with one finger... and you can't move that finger!"ReplyDelete
I like the patients whose numeric scale of 1 to 10 includes "kind of ouch, you know, but sometimes not like when it's the other way." Or "a million."ReplyDelete
I think I'm having a PTSD flashback in response to your post.ReplyDelete
These are all SO TRUE. Working in an ER wears on your patience very quickly. My favorite would be when a patient is getting triaged:ReplyDelete
Nurse: "How would you rate your pain right now?"
Patient (calmly): 10
Nurse: "OK I can't write 10 because you're not crying."
That seems to elicit shock, awe and confusion.
Or, patient: "Well no I don't know my meds because my wife has the list. No, she doesn't know I'm here and she's probably not coming. You ought to call her."
My triage days I learned really quick to ask the right quest. Instead of "why are you here tonight?" it was "what one event made you leave the comfort of home from your lay z boy to come here?"ReplyDelete