On an intern year call, my very awesome attending bought us dinner from a nice restaurant. I was concerned that the dinner might not come with plates and utensils, so I decided to go over to the cafeteria to grab a few at around 5PM. I took five Styrofoam plates and a handful of forks and knives. As I was walking out of the cafeteria, the cashier (who I hate) said to me, "Oh, are you buying some plates?"
I think I laughed because I thought she was joking. I started to walk out and she said to me, "You have to pay for those."
"Seriously?" I said.
"Yes, they're five cents each."
I was totally fucking shocked. Not that I cared about the money, because I had a card that gives me unlimited free food (also, it was all of 25 cents), but it was irritating that I had to stop at the cashier and have her ring me up for these five stupid plates during my call.
Because I had to pay anyway, I decided to grab a bag of gummy bears. When the cashier saw the gummy bears, she said, "Oh, since you're making a purchase, I can give you three of the plates for free. But I still have to charge you for two of them. That's ten cents."
"Fine, whatever," I said.
It's people like you, trying to steal 5-cent styrofoam plates, that are causing the entire health care crisis. I hope you're ashamed of yourself.
ReplyDeleteVery true. That's why health care costs are so high: stolen plates. Also b/c of the graham crackers I steal from the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteNo, that's okay. Stealing graham crackers and saltines from the floor galley is a time-honored medical tradition, passed from generation to generation, since the time of Hippocrates.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was doing my clinical rotations we had to steal the cardboard litter pans & dog food bowls for our dinners. At least you had plates!
ReplyDeleteWebhill - If it's any consolation, I think most medical residents have eaten from an emesis basin (vomit pan) at least once. A few of the heartier amongst us have even consumed liquids from the containers that are used to measure urine output.
ReplyDeleteMost nurses I know think it's perfectly normal to eat popcorn out of a (clean) bedpan.
ReplyDeleteOnce I went up to pay, and realized I left my wallet upstairs. She wouldn't let me come back with the money, but wouldn't let me just give the food back either, since she'd rung it up. It was like being in the hospital cafeteria twilight zone.
ReplyDeleteWow... I would say that eating out of a kidney basin or bedpan is gross, but I (along with every other resident ever) have slept in sheets that have been vomited, bled, peed and pooped on at some point. It's just best not to think about it.
ReplyDeleteSomehow eating out of the emesis basin sounds less gross to me than sleeping on the gurney in the trauma bay where they keep the dead bodies. That's just me though.
ReplyDeleteEh, I've taken many a nap and had a few meals in the gross lab so nothing really bothers me anymore. I really realized that when I had my mug of coffee on the autopsy tray next to the cadaver I was bagging.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the quiet moment early one crisp, spring morning sitting in the ER bay on break: sitting in a wheelchair (for you really need a seat there)sipping a hot cup of coffee as the the sun was just rising. Birds singing. Deep, cleansing breath of the light scent of campfire.
ReplyDeleteSo peaceful and relaxing...
And then it dons on me - the scent - from the gurney set out to air out s/p code from an apartment fire earlier in the night.
Yep, a lil twisted, lol...