Saturday, March 31, 2012

Lottery jackpot

Nurse: "I'm going to go out and buy some lottery tickets for our pool. Do you want to chip in?"

Me: "No, I don't play the lottery."

Nurse: "Well, it's a really big jackpot."

Me: "I'm just worried that if I give you a dollar, you might get hit by an asteroid on the way to buy the tickets."

Nurse: "..."

Me: "Because that's more likely than winning the lottery."

Nurse: "Yeah, I figured out you meant that."

Me: [to another nurse] "Boy, I'll feel pretty dumb if they win."

Then the nurse told me she'd read Shirley Jackson's The Lottery for tips on how to win, although it ended up not having any practical tips and was actually just a chilling tale of conformity gone mad.

So no, I don't partake in the lottery. And I'm pretty sure our unit pool didn't win. The odds of winning are just so small that it's basically like throwing your money away.


  1. I find it more horrifying that this person hadn't previously encountered the Jackson book.

  2. I thought everyone had to read The Lottery around 8th or 9th grade.

  3. I've actually been called 'negative' for not partaking in lottery shenanigans. The worst is when people won't let it go after you decline - I don't play, get over it!

    I do enjoy asking them if they won after the day after the drawing, though.

  4. I don't mind contributing every now and then because the proceeds do go into the education fund in most states.

    That said, I didn't buy a ticket to this jackpot. Primarily because the hype makes it likely that even if you win, you're more likely to split the winnings multiple ways than to win the whole jackpot. After all, there are only a certain number of combinations, and there were something like $1.5 billion in sales this time.

  5. I would buy a ticket but I got an A in probability and statistics.

  6. So wait. She just randomly bought a book without knowing anything about it to help her win the lottery? Did she buy The Hunger Games to learn about about diet and nutrition? Where do you even find The Lottery in a bookstore? It's normally with classic lit. It was probably next to Charles Dickens and Shakespeare and somehow she thought it was about the MegaMillions Jackpot?

    I hope that part of the post was a joke. If not, she should throw her money away on the lottery, else she be scammed out of it some other way.

  7. Simpsons reference! I hope she at least threw the book in the fireplace when she was done with it.

  8. Thanks, JessJess! I knew someone would get it :)

  9. Oh my word I had completely forgotten about The Lottery... that was probably the most chilling thing school ever made me read.

  10. Living Proof that you're more likely to get struck by lightning than win the lottery