Attending #1: "Okay, who's your patient?"
Me: "This patient is a 58 year old man with 5 years of axial lower back pain who--"
Attending #1: "Any past medical history?"
Me: "He has a past medical history of hypertension and asthma."
Attending #1: "Okay, so you should say, 'Patient is a 58 year old man with a history of hypertension and asthma with 5 years of axial lower back pain.'"
Me: "Okay, sorry."
Later that day....
Attending #2: "Okay, present your patient."
Me: "This patient is a 49 year old man with a history of hypertension, arthritis in his shoulders, and vicodin abuse--"
Attending #2: "Okay, stop. What's he here for?? You should say that part first."
You know, it's not that hard to present a patient. Unless you have to do it slightly differently to comply with the personal preferences of every single attending in the clinic. And even when you include every pertinent detail in the presentation, he'll ask you, "Has she tried NSAIDs for pain?" And then shake his head accusingly because you left out such an important detail, even though you actually mentioned that the patient had been taking ibuprofen but the attending just wasn't listening.