Sometimes a patient does something so crazy that I kind of want to give them a little award for being crazy in such a unique way.
Most Coats Award in my residency went to an elderly non-English speaking patient, who did put on the gown... but was fully clothed under the gown. She was also wearing her winter coat over the gown, completely buttoned up. And if that wasn't enough, she had THREE sweaters on top of her lap, covering her legs. And she was still wearing her shoes and socks, of course.
As soon as I finished examining her, she immediately put all her coats and sweaters back on, and put on her shoes. I was frustrated that she had to go through taking them all off again for my attending, but I was glad he got to witness the crazy firsthand.