Saturday, May 19, 2012

Weekly Whine: Laundry

One of my most hated chores is doing the laundry. Up until college, my mother did my laundry, so I never realized how much it sucked. I remember when I was in college, I made a blog entry along the lines of, "I will probably have to do my own laundry for the rest of my life dammit." But now I have my own washer and dryer, so it isn't quite as bad. I don't like doing it, but it isn't quite as horrible.

However, before getting my own W/D, I had years of horrible communal laundry experiences. I used to whine incessantly about "laundry assholes." A laundry asshole is defined as anyone who does their laundry in a communal laundry room and is not me.

I used to get SO ANGRY when I'd get down to the laundry room and someone had taken my clothes out of the washer or dryer for me. Inevitably, they had put the clothes somewhere unacceptable, because there were never any clean surfaces in the laundry room.

There was one occasion in my adult life when I came down to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer. I noticed that there were still two minutes left on the washer, so instead of standing there staring at the washer, I went to this adjoining room and sat down on a couch. I was literally three feet away from the washer.

I was in there maybe two minutes and thirty seconds, then I came back to transfer my clothes. And to my shock, there was already a woman there who was pulling them out of the washer. She must have seen the washer stop running and instantly started pulling my clothes out. And even when I announced to her that they were my clothes, she continued pulling them out. It was like, "I'm RIGHT HERE. Can you STOP TOUCHING MY UNDERWEAR PLEASE?"

Jeez, can't a person have sixty seconds to get her clothes out?

And on the other side of things, when I was in med school, I would constantly get frustrated because people would leave their clothes in the washer or dryer for indefinite periods of time. The machines were always full but not running.

One day, thwarted by four full (but not running) washers, I removed the clothes from just one washer (even though I really had enough clothes for two). I squeezed all my clothes into that one washer, and as I was turning it on, this guy came in and gave me this astonished look and said, “You took my clothes out?” He acted like I had just murdered his family or something. He claimed the rule was that I had to wait for ten minutes before taking someone’s clothes out.

Excuse me? Am I just supposed to stand there for ten minutes and wait around like an idiot? I have to assume when I got down there that the washers that are stopped have not stopped at the instant I got down there. So presumably the person has already had a grace period of ten minutes or so.

Anyway, I graciously apologized to the guy. Then after he put his clothes in the dryer and left, I took some trash from the trash can and threw it in with his clothes.

Who's the laundry asshole now, huh?

23 comments:

  1. You, bitch! What the fuck are you doing writing about me?! And you threw some trash in with my clothes??!! Okay, that's it. I am suing your physiatric ass! LOL!

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  2. I stayed in hostels when I vacationing in Japan and the suckiest part of the trip was the logistics of doing communal laundry with 15 other people. -_- Many of them from countries like France and Australia that have different rules/regulations on group laundry.

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  3. WOW...you took some trash and threw it on his clothes??? Are you nuts???

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  4. Oooh, spite!! I like it.

    Reminds me of the time when I put cumin and salt into my idiot roommate's homemade beer as revenge for daring to consume *my* alcohol.

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  5. Revenge is sweet. Public/communal laundromats give me anxiety precisely because of things like that. I hate people touching my clothes too. I would plan my laundry on dead days like Monday/Tuesday.

    Since we're on the topic of revenge, a friend of mine got boxed into a parallel parking space in front and back. She drove an old but very sturdy Benz convertible. Her car got out just fine, but can't say the same for the bumpers of the cars in front and back.

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  6. Not the meanest laundry revenge story that I've heard. The worst was from a grad student that I used to work with: He once found his wet clothes tossed on the floor because someone one was in that much of a hurry to use the washer. So he opened that running washer, and peed on that other person's clothes.

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    Replies
    1. It's hard to do that when you're a girl.

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    2. Wow, that is a whole new level of nasty. But deserved.

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    3. This sounds like the time to use that box of blue dye you've been carrying around. The owner will never know because the pee will wash away.

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    4. Sorry I meant the owner will never know about the pee.

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    5. What washing machines have you guys been using? Every one that I used in college always automatically locked the door while running. Guess I know why now...

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  7. Hard, but not impossible.

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  8. I don't see what's so bad about you waiting 10 minutes for the person to get their clothes out. You can't just assume that 10 minutes have passed.

    And, it's OK to put DRY clothes, not wet clothes outside of the dryer.

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    1. The problem is when all the washers have been used. Depending on how far a walk it is, it's free game to have your stuff taken out.

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    2. Taken out, yes. Digging your hand into the trash can to throw trash on the clothes, NO.

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    3. The problem is that you have no idea when you start waiting if it's going to be 10 minutes or 10 hours.

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  9. It's because of this sort of story that I always would stay in the laundry room while doing my laundry. I may be paranoid, but I never had to worry about trash in my laundry, either.

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  10. This is why my boyfriend and I made it mandatory that our new place had to have a washer and dryer in it. At my building, my floor shares one washer and dryer. There had been some issues. I once checked the dryer before work, came back 10hours later and the SAME DAMN CLOTHES WERE IN THE DRYER. I was peeved. Those clothes ended up on the floor.

    Bast part was only 3 apartments were sharing. There's really no excuse.

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  11. In college, I removed someone's dry clothes from the dryer so I could use it, and then neatly folded that person's clothes and stacked them up. Everyone was flabbergasted, and I think it elevated the treatment that we all gave to each other's clothes from that point forward. It's more sustainable in a small dorm, though, harder in a large building or laundromat.

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  12. Getting pissed at the whole vicious cycle that is laundry: understandable. Throwing trash in someone's clean laundry after YOU removed his clothes from the washer? Inexcusable. You're a disgrace as a human being. Or maybe I believe that people guilty of wrongdoing shouldn't be the ones who have a right to be vindictive just because they were caught. Maybe you should try a philosophy that involves "doing what's right even when no one is looking." As a doctor, I'd thing you'd live by a higher moral code that this... clearly I was wrong. Next time, apologize and walk away. You do remember what an apology is, right? You wrote so longingly about it, and how people never do it anymore even when they're in the wrong, but don't believe they are. Or did you decide to forget when it's so convenient for you to do so? Hypocrite.

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