(And now for something a little less controversial. Unlike my last post, I expect significantly less than 100 comments.)
A page I got at 1AM:
Nurse: "I'm calling to let you know that the urinalysis on Mrs. Burns is positive. There are a lot of white blood cells."
Granted, I'd never been paged before urgently with the results of a urinalysis, but the patient had a mild fever earlier so it didn't seem unreasonable.
Me: "Oh..." [groggily trying to decide what med to start her on or to wait till morning] "Is the patient on any antibiotics right now?"
Me: "Any allergies?"
Nurse: "No. There's also trace leukocyte esterase in the urine."
Me: [finally waking up] "Trace? Wait, can you read me the full results of the urinalysis?"
Nurse: "Protein negative, ketones negative, trace leukocyte esterase, nitrite negative, 0-3 red blood cells, and 3-5 white blood cells...."
Me: "Three to five white blood cells???"
I made her repeat that number twice to make sure I heard right. I can't believe I got woken up in the middle of the night about three white blood cells in a patient's urine. That was like the least remarkable urinalysis ever.