Saturday, March 23, 2013

Weekly Whine: Long Movies

I think there should be a rule that movies can't be longer than two hours. I'm looking at you, Peter Jackson.

If a movie is exactly two hours, it's going to be at least twenty minutes longer than that with previews. Do you know how I feel after sitting in a movie theater for over two hours?

1) I have a headache

2) My butt hurts

3) I have to pee like whoa

The last is a major consideration. I was recently at a movie with my husband that was three hours long with previews and he went to pee twice during the movie. And his bladder is much bigger than mine, if anatomy class is to be believed. Think how us women feel!

And who makes all these really long movies? Men.

I really don't believe that there's any story that can't be told in two hours or less. It's called editing. No matter how awesome you think every scene in your movie is, we're going to miss a bunch of it anyway due to having to run out to pee.

21 comments:

  1. I agree! I'm one of the people who can't sit down at a movie theater for two hours unless I REALLY am into the movie, I mean I have to be really into it.

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  2. I may be able to help. See http://runpee.com/, which offers an app for just this problem. It will suggest times during the movie when it's "safe" to run to the restroom without missing anything important. It also gives a summary of what happened while you were gone.

    --Queen Anne's Lace

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  3. I was also going to mention that there are blogs and apps that give you times during the movie that are good for going to the bathroom, but I think I've only seen them on kids movie reviews! (I totally agree, BTW. I haven't seen The Hobbit in part b/c I'm annoyed at the length and making it into a trilogy.)

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  4. I sort of agree, but movies are so expensive now I feel like I only get my money's worth with a long movie. I compensate by dehydrating before: no meals shortly before, nothing to drink in the hours leading up, and pee right before going in.

    I almost went to see Lawrence of Arabia (3 1/2 hours) last week but wimped out. At least it has an intermission!

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    1. I think any movie over 2 hours needs an intermission for pee-time.

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    2. They used to have those! I remember renting Gone with the Wind, and the VHS tape totally had a 20 minute pee break built into it.

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  5. It's pretty bad when you have to prepare for a night at the movies the same way as preparing for a day in the OR...

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  6. I am a woman and if a movie is really good and engrossing, I really don't care how long it is. I do try to make a point of not drinking too much so that I don't have to take a bathroom break, however. I have had varying degrees of success with that plan, though.

    With regard to Peter Jackson, I don't see how it's possible to have the LOTR movie trilogy any shorter than it was without compromising plot lines, which were already abbreviated and not fully explored in the movies.

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    1. It's certainly possible because The Hobbit is only about a fifth of the length of LOTR. Jackson certainly isn't abbreviating anything from The Hobbit so much as he's shoehorning in a lot of extra stuff that's extraneous to the story. Two hours or just a bit more than that would've been ample.

      [/end rant]

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    2. I wasn't talking about the Hobbit, I was talking about LOTR, so not understanding your point.

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  7. I save myself the trouble by not going to see movies at the theater and watching them at home on Netflix. This way I can pause the movie whenever I wish to and go pee as often as I want. I am not paying to see previews I don't want to see. I am not having to hear people talk into their cellphones, or talk to other people. I cant watch any movie under my own rules.

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  8. You complain about everything.

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    Replies
    1. Also, airplane peanuts. And the black box. If the black box is so safe, why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?

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    2. Here's why: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/909/if-aircraft-black-boxes-are-indestructible-why-cant-the-whole-plane-be-made-from-the-same-material

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  9. It's her blog, anonymous, she can complain about whatever she wants.

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  10. :) I have to disagree with this one - I LOVE long movies, if they're well done. LoTR and the Hobbit are particular favorites, but I recall hating Castaway. It just took too long (and I had to pee. All that water...)

    I wouldn't mind intermissions though. I take them at home lol

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  11. My wife is a nurse. I just have put a foley in me before we leave home.

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  12. Oh yea? Please explain why Pride and Prejudice is so freaking long and why women love it so much?

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  13. I just wait until they come out on DVD and watch them while I work out.

    I'm not going to pay $20 to sit on my ass for 2 hours, when I can do that for free.

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  14. Remember that movie A.I. - kid totally cute, movie unbareably long. I wanted to kill him just so we could be done :)

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  15. Yeah. I agree. Definitely bring back the intermissions. Because even if you are super prepared, it's distracted if everyone else keeps getting up and leaving (and then coming back).

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