Me seeing a new patient in clinic today. Middle aged guy with knee pain.
Me: So what's been going on?
Patient: Well, I'm an Officer of the Court. So I need to be very active and I'm always walking or running when I'm in court. And lately my knee has gotten so bad that I can hardly do my job.
Me: OK, so--
Patient: I don't know if you've ever been to court in session, but it's busy. I need to be on my feet. So when my knee gets bad, I have trouble walking from one side of the court to the other.
Me: So are you a judge or a bailiff or something?
Patient: No, I'm a basketball referee.
That is really not my first thought when I hear Officer of the Court.
Also, he kept on referring to it as "officiating in court," which I guess is not technically incorrect, but is really freaking confusing.