Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Guest post: Man vs. Cow

A few days ago, I was looking up the history on a BAL (bronchoalveolar lavage) slide. I pulled up the H&P and saw this:

HPI: 56yoWM s/p trauma (Man vs. Cow) s/p ORIF tib/fib presents with vomiting ? aspiration.

So the orthopod was worried about pneumonia. That was enough info for what I needed to look for in the BAL but I was curious about the trauma so I delved deeper into the chart but no dice. I guessed the surgery was done at an outside hospital.

I was telling one of my partners about it the next day. He too wondered what happened. "What kind of relationship with a cow would invite a tib/fib fracture?" He raised his eyebrows. "That reminds me of the old joke about the cow standing on a cliff with tennis shoes on to maintain traction so he can back up without falling off."

"You will have to tell me that joke later. I don't have time to listen right now."

"That is the joke. If you don't get it, think about it."

I went back to my office and about ten minutes later while I was working I wrapped my brain around the joke. I texted my partner: "Ewww."

He texted back: "That would be if it were a sheep."

Bestiality jokes are ripe for the picking down here in the South.

Contributed by Gizabeth of Methodical Madness

12 comments:

  1. Probably performing AI. That's how one of my colleagues fractured his tibia/fibula, though often farmers do it themselves. Cows can kick in any direction, stocks or no stocks.

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    1. Oh my goodness I thought you meant Anal Intercourse. I had to look that up to see it was Artificial Insemination. Ha ha.

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    2. Common large animal veterinary procedure. We do BALs, too.

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    3. That is super cool - I had no idea!

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  2. I still don't get it.

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    1. See what I thought AI meant above. That might help. Man and cow.

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    2. Nope, still don't get it. Why is there a cliff? And what do sneakers have to do with anything?

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    3. I'm way too embarrassed to explain it. If you want my take, feel free to e-mail me through my blog.

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    4. Oh, come on. Are you a doctor? Describe in an anatomical terms for us slowpokes. :P

      Although my mind is usually very dirty. So I feel like I must be missing some key component of the joke.

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    5. I'm a pathologist. We are shut ins, but we have very dirty minds. Hang on to the clues, you'll get there by yourself eventually.

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  3. I don't get the cow in sneakers joke either. ?

    One of our ED docs was cracking up one night over a pt brought in. Not for why he was brought in but because the cop reported that he was seen (from the hwy) "boffing (sp?) a sheep. EWE!

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