Years ago, when I was a medicine intern on the consult service, I got a page from the PA on the vascular service at 4PM on a Friday afternoon, the second I had gotten home because I thought we were done for the day.
The PA said to me, "Gee, sorry to be calling such a late consult, but... we need help with this guy."
The PA explained he was a 75 year old man who was about to go for surgery for revascularization of the leg, but they cancelled it due to pneumonia.
"So do you need help managing his pneumonia?"
"Well, we already consulted pulmonary about that, so they're managing his pneumonia," the PA said. "Also, he's having some blood in his urine."
"So do you want help with the bloody urine?"
"No, urology is already consulting on that." Thoughtfully. "He also has vascular problems in his legs, but we're managing that...."
"So what is your question for US?" I asked. .. that you're calling late on a Friday afternoon for.
"Um.... I guess we just need help managing all his issues..."
"What issues? You already have pulmonary and urology on board, so what are we supposed to do?"
"We just want to make sure there's nothing we're missing."
"But I can't say that to my attending. You have to have a question for us."
"Is there anything specifically that you want us to manage?"
Finally, I tried to help him: "Do you want us to clear him for surgery next week?"
"Oh... uh, okay!"
Of course, it was totally ridiculous. I called my attending and I was like, "I don't really know why they're calling about this guy. All his issues are being managed. They want us to get him ready for surgery, but he's already on a beta blocker. It's kind of a bullshit consult."
My attending said: "Are you already home?"
I admitted that I was. But who would have thought I'd get a consult at 4PM on a Friday? Especially when it's a very non-urgent consult.
The attending was nice to me and admitted that it was a bullshit CYA consult. She said I didn't have to come back to the hospital. Thank you to the attending who didn't make me come back to the hospital at 4PM on a Friday for paperwork.