Conversations with an ortho resident

One night when I was on call for surgery as a med student, I went over to the resident lounge to see if it was a quiet place to study. Unfortunately, Izzy the ortho resident was there watching TV. Izzy always managed to make us girls feel uncomfortable. I remember when he first met one of my co-students, he told her he was a 4th year medical student, and tricked her into telling him one of her friends applying for ortho at his hospital was an asshole. And he always tried to take one of my pens.

Izzy: "Wait, where are you going?"
Me: "Um, I was just... looking for the TCV resident... uh, I guess he's not here..."
Izzy: "Wait, sit down a minute. Hang out with me."
Me: "I really should... I have this test coming up and if nobody needs me, I was going to study..."
Izzy: "You're on call, huh?"
Me: "Yeah..."
Izzy: "So if I told you I needed you to draw blood for me at 2 AM, you'd do it?"
Me: "Huh? Uh, I... well, no."
Izzy: "No? Don't you want to be a good medical student?"
Me: "Um, I guess."
Izzy: "You want to do well, in case you decide to do ortho."
Me: "That's really unlikely."
Izzy: "Don't be so sure. I decided in July of my third year."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Izzy: "Yeah. I mean, I thought for sure I was going to be a general surgeon. Every rotation, I told them that. I honored every class. My recommendation from surgery said, 'Best medical student we've had. Should be a surgeon.' My recommendation from medicine said, 'Best medical student we've had. Tried to persuade him to do medicine but he wants to be a surgeon.' But then I changed my mind and decided to do ortho."
Me: "Yeah, but I don't want to be a surgeon."
Izzy: "Hey, let me ask you something. Do you ever hear stuff about residents when you're coming into a rotation?"
Me: "Sure."
Izzy: "Like stuff about a certain resident being an asshole or something like that?"
Me: "Well, sometimes. But usually I forget who it is before the rotation starts."
Izzy: "Have you ever heard anything about me, say, being an asshole?"
Me: "You? No."
Izzy: "Because the nurses... they're always calling me an arrogant asshole. Especially the nurses at here. They really think I'm an arrogant asshole."
Me: "Well, I haven't heard that."
Izzy: "Do you think I'm an arrogant asshole?"
Me: "No..."
Izzy: "You're not just saying that, are you? You can be honest."
Me: "No, you're definitely not an arrogant asshole."
Izzy: "Ha ha, I was actually just messing with you."
Me: "Oh."
Izzy: "Hey, where are you going?"
Me: "To study!"
Izzy: "No, come on... study here with me."
Me: "I can't study with the TV on."
Izzy: "Yes, you can. I study with the radio on."
Me: "Well, I'm not you."

And thank god for that.