For Christmas, my mother bought my younger daughter a kit of Legos to put together.
Older daughter: "When I get back from basketball, I'll help you put the kit together."
Me: "I can help her do it now."
Older daughter: "It's pretty complicated, Mom. I doubt you'll be able to do it."
Me: "I think I can put together a Lego kit. I'm a doctor."
It's this the stage where my kid starts thinking I'm a totally incompetent idiot?
Yes it is. I believe the stage of not trusting you to physically do something correctly is a way easing the parents into the stage of kids believing parent don't know anything and our advice sucks.ReplyDelete
I think when the girls started doubting my abilities was when they were beginning to get more independent and build their self confidence. I kept telling myself they feel confident enough to think they are smarter than me and that isn't bad all the time. It hurt my feelings but I let the little things go with, "I am happy you are smart enough not to need me for everything, but I am able to do ________."
As far as being smart enough to give good advice, my oldest daughter (20) came around at the age of 18 when she moved into her own apartment in Chicago (with an older cousin). My now 18 year old daughter isn't quite ready to admit I actually do know what I am talking about, but she isn't very vocal with her doubt in my knowledege. One of my 15 year old girls I don't think will EVER realize that I am at least somewhat capable and I really do know things. She has no trouble telling me I don't know or can't do stuff. The other 15 year girl is similar to the 18 year old but will add a condescending laugh or eye roll.
Now days I just give them a look that clearly means "your choice/your consequences." I do acknowledge when their choices work out or admit with an apology when my advice didn't work out.
Welcome to this multi year stage of parenting! Just keep telling yourself, most kids do come around eventually (even if it takes 20 years).
As a non-parent this is always the most entertaining period to watch. I get a lot of laughs out of it, but I am sympathetic, too.ReplyDelete
Speaking as a parent of a not-yet-one-year-old with a sparsely helpful husband: as long as it doesn't have an attitude like what Steph described above, I say take it as a win. Anything that you don't have to do yourself or help with yourself is golden.ReplyDelete
And hey, older sister voluntarily helping younger sister is a sign that you've been doing things right. Double win.
Your daughter just wanted a reason for it to still be cool to play with her sister. Shewas telling you to but outReplyDelete