Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Conversations with an ortho resident

One night when I was on call for surgery as a med student, I went over to the resident lounge to see if it was a quiet place to study. Unfortunately, Izzy the ortho resident was there watching TV. Izzy always managed to make us girls feel uncomfortable. I remember when he first met one of my co-students, he told her he was a 4th year medical student, and tricked her into telling him one of her friends applying for ortho at his hospital was an asshole. And he always tried to take one of my pens.

Izzy: "Wait, where are you going?"
Me: "Um, I was just... looking for the TCV resident... uh, I guess he's not here..."
Izzy: "Wait, sit down a minute. Hang out with me."
Me: "I really should... I have this test coming up and if nobody needs me, I was going to study..."
Izzy: "You're on call, huh?"
Me: "Yeah..."
Izzy: "So if I told you I needed you to draw blood for me at 2 AM, you'd do it?"
Me: "Huh? Uh, I... well, no."
Izzy: "No? Don't you want to be a good medical student?"
Me: "Um, I guess."
Izzy: "You want to do well, in case you decide to do ortho."
Me: "That's really unlikely."
Izzy: "Don't be so sure. I decided in July of my third year."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Izzy: "Yeah. I mean, I thought for sure I was going to be a general surgeon. Every rotation, I told them that. I honored every class. My recommendation from surgery said, 'Best medical student we've had. Should be a surgeon.' My recommendation from medicine said, 'Best medical student we've had. Tried to persuade him to do medicine but he wants to be a surgeon.' But then I changed my mind and decided to do ortho."
Me: "Yeah, but I don't want to be a surgeon."
Izzy: "Hey, let me ask you something. Do you ever hear stuff about residents when you're coming into a rotation?"
Me: "Sure."
Izzy: "Like stuff about a certain resident being an asshole or something like that?"
Me: "Well, sometimes. But usually I forget who it is before the rotation starts."
Izzy: "Have you ever heard anything about me, say, being an asshole?"
Me: "You? No."
Izzy: "Because the nurses... they're always calling me an arrogant asshole. Especially the nurses at here. They really think I'm an arrogant asshole."
Me: "Well, I haven't heard that."
Izzy: "Do you think I'm an arrogant asshole?"
Me: "No..."
Izzy: "You're not just saying that, are you? You can be honest."
Me: "No, you're definitely not an arrogant asshole."
Izzy: "Ha ha, I was actually just messing with you."
Me: "Oh."
Izzy: "Hey, where are you going?"
Me: "To study!"
Izzy: "No, come on... study here with me."
Me: "I can't study with the TV on."
Izzy: "Yes, you can. I study with the radio on."
Me: "Well, I'm not you."

And thank god for that.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Cat problems

So we've had our cat about three months and it's working out pretty well. She's well behaved, and while not the cuddliest cat in the world, she likes to cuddle up next to us, at least. I probably like her about as much as I could possibly like a cat we've had for three months. She's increased her weight by 50% while living with us, so she seems to be living it up as well.

Anyway, last week my husband brought her to the vet that the shelter recommended. Not because she was sick, but just to establish care and figure out any preventative things we should do. In general, she was fine, but the vet said that her back four teeth didn't look good and ought to be pulled. My husband said sure, then as he was going out the door, they handed him the cost estimate of $1000 for the cat tooth extraction (including X-rays and anesthesia).

Needless to say, I was livid.

First of all, the cat had been to that same vet practice multiple times before we got her, and there was no mention of any tooth issues. Much less any urgent necessary extraction costing $1000. I feel like someone is taking us for fools.

I feel like I sound like some evil person refusing to pay for the cat to have dental work. If she got in some awful accident or developed... I don't know... cat appendicitis, and it cost us that much... fine. But the cat appears totally fine and she's eating up a storm. She had just been to that same vet practice three months earlier and had been fine. I haven't even had $1000 worth of dental work myself, for crissake. And the whole thing will probably make the cat, who barely trusts us already, totally miserable and hate us. God knows how safe cat anesthesia is too.

We're going to another vet to get another opinion, but I'm strongly inclined not to do this to a cat we just got who had a clean vet bill three months ago. Unless there is a very, very convincing argument otherwise. Like that she's in horrible, mind-numbing pain and I'm worse than Trump for not helping her.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Histology lab (a haiku)

Histology lab
Professor says, "Let's go to
oil." Med students snore.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Lessons We Can All Learn From My Patients:

1) Even if it's a BENIGN growth, try to refrain from attempting to cut it off with a nail clipper.

2) If you think your husband is slipping meth into your coffee, maybe it's time to start getting your coffee at work.

3) While the doctors appreciate your honesty, Urgent Care will NOT prescribe you Viagra so that you may have sex with prostitutes.

4) While it's true that if you're a guy you may feel more comfortable getting a rectal exam from a male doctor, women have smaller fingers.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

New neighbors

So we used to have these horrible neighbors who lived next door/above us. Among other things, they used to drop cigarette butts on our porch, and they used to constantly park in front of our garage so we couldn't get in or out without bothering them to move.

Finally, these neighbors moved out and a family with three children moved in. Despite having three little kids, they never ever bothered us once in the year they lived there.

This week, a new family is moving in to the apartment. They're in the process of moving in, and today when my husband came home at four, he noticed they had a truck parked in front of our garage. He didn't say anything to them, because I'm the one using the garage, and he figured they would move before I got home. But then when I got home at 6:30 with the kids, they were still parked in front of our garage. Despite the fact that there was ample free parking only feet away.  

Granted, they are moving in and I suppose the garage right next to there was an easier place to park to move objects. And they did move as soon as I honked at them. But I still see this as a bad sign.  Considering the garage belongs to us, shouldn't they have moved the heavier objects in right away, then freed up the spot?

What do you think? Was what they did rude? Am I overreacting because of our previous experience?

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Worse than elephantiasis

This was a transcription error that might be only one letter, but amused me immensely after a long day of work...

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Still watching Idol

I have been watching American Idol since season one. One of my medical school classmates, the only flamboyantly gay Orthodox Jewish guy I've ever known, was a contestant that year.  He sang "if I were a rich man" for the judges, and when he got eliminated, he said, "Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes you just look fabulous in that dress."  I think eventually dropped out of medical school.

There have been some incredible seasons. I think my favorite contestant on the show was Adam Lambert, and that season was probably my overall favorite, although my favorite post idol singer is probably Kelly Clarkson.  It's hard not to like her music.

American Idol used to be one of those water cooler shows that was really fun to talk about with people at school or work. These days, I don't know a single person who watches the show. I'm only watching out of my anal desire to have watched every single season. (Well, except for that awful season where Nicki Minaj was a judge.). I also think that the show has gotten better since Harry Connick Jr came on and revived it, but it's just not as interesting to me anymore.

Anyway, for those of you not watching, they are currently down to the top 8.  The judges seem to have a lot more control this year than they ever have in previous years... they are basically picking our next American Idol for us.  

Based on previous years, there is a long tradition of the hottest guy on the show taking the win. If that doesn't happen, it's only because there isn't a hot guy in the top 10 or one that has any talent.

Based on that, I'm 99% sure the winner this year will be Dalton Rappatoni. He might not be the best singer on the show, but voters have traditionally not voted for the best singers. The voters giving the La'Porscha the win would be unprecedented.

Knowing who's going to win definitely does take some of the fun out of it.  But I'm still going to watch till the end.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Just for you

My husband received the following when he recently went to the supermarket. Somehow I'm not entirely sure these offers were specially selected just for him. Unless there's something I don't know...