Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Physician suicide

I was talking to a medical student recently who said he didn't want to do a residency in NYC because "everyone there kills themselves."  I think that's a little dramatic, although I do recall several years ago there was a rash of suicides in residents.

I just read an excellent article on physician suicide.  What's sad is that if a physician really was feeling suicidal, I guarantee there's no way they could seek counseling quickly that wouldn't jeopardize their career and confidentiality--the only effective way would be to threaten suicide, which would take them to the ER and give them a record of suicidal behavior.... a fate many proud physicians would consider worse than death.

I'm going to take a step further and say mental health treatment in this country is really bad.  This is not a jab at mental health professionals, who are probably fine individually.... just saying there aren't enough of them. The system is bad. If someone is feeling depressed or suicidal, they can call their local behavioral health center and maybe get an appointment in a month or two.  Hopefully they're alive by then.

I had a few really down periods during my medical training, so I can speak to all this from experience.  There were no mental health services available.  At one point, when I was having a really hard time, I called some student health hotline, and the person told me that this wasn't the purpose of the line. I asked where I could go, and they said such a service didn't exist at the school. They talked to me a little, but it was clear that they were just doing it to be a good human being, and not because it was their job or something they were trained in. 

So.... I guess the takeaway is don't get depressed because if you do, you're shit out of luck.

Monday, January 8, 2018

Guest post: Weight loss surgery

Tuesday I sat through another hard sell for weight loss surgery. I'm so done.

I'm weary of doctors who won't hear my "no" and plow ahead extolling the virtues of procedures I have already investigated and decided are not for me. I would be at high risk of suicide if I allowed myself to be bullied into this. (That is not true for most people but would be for me.)

Today I felt calm enough to respond via email. To be sure, I responded plenty in the moment but everything I said was ignored or argued with and the doctor just kept going. My husband was present and he was shocked--as a fat man himself his doctors bring things up and then drop it if he says no. I talked with him about how hard it is to turn around and look for another doctor because I don't even know how THAT doctor will handle the sensitive issue of weight. If there's one thing I'd wish of doctors is that they come to appreciate how we've already survived a lifetime's worth of assaults on our self esteem based on our weight. Unless they've been there I don't know how easy that is to understand--but I wish they'd try.

I sent the following to Doctor M:

Subject heading was "Boundaries."

I understand that all doctors will discuss weight with their fat patients. I expect that it will be brought up. What I did not expect was the hard sell on weight loss surgery after I repeatedly indicated that I was not remotely interested in it and had firmly decided it was not for me for many reasons. You continued for something like 20 minutes AFTER I indicated that. But what is dangerous to my well being and survival was that you did so after learning I had spent months being verbally abused and was dealing with the resulting depression. Fortunately I've had years of therapy and could deal with the hurt, shock and distress I felt after having my boundaries violated.

It also concerns me that you'd dismiss the value of walking simply in relation to weight loss.

WEIGHT LOSS IS NOT A GOAL OF MINE. A Health at Every Size strategy of movement and eating healthy food IS. Obesity research has demonstrated that 95% of us regain. This is a feature not a bug.

Can you respect boundaries?