Should You Go To Medical School? (A Quiz)



1. Do you have $250,000 just burning a hole in your pocket?

My parents are rich and my mother always wanted her child to be a doctor
It was more, but then I invested in Facebook
No, but the bank does!
I am destitute and the bank won’t loan me money because of my failed yak herding experiment

2. When you see a dead body, what do you feel?

Excited to learn the Latin names of every single muscle and nerve and artery and vein and bone and then get tested on it ad nauseum
A strange tingling in my groin
Like I’m going to faint
Nervous I’ll somehow get blamed for this

3. How would you like to spend your twenties?

Drinking, doing lots of drugs, sleeping with lots of anonymous people
Studying
Procreating
In jail for a crime you didn’t commit

4. If you could be any animal, what would you be?

Surgeon ant
Lawyer bird
Nurse shark
Pediatrician armadillo

5. How do you feel about sleep?

Hate it
Love it
Need it to live
Can do it anywhere, any time

6. What is your favorite smell?

Formaldehyde
Gasoline
French fries
Bank customers
Betadine
C diff

7. Do you like taking tests?

They’re more exciting than a weekend at Disneyland
They make me throw up in terror
Not really, but I’m freakishly good at them
Are we talking about drug tests or…?

8. What was your favorite class in high school?

Biology
Math
How To Get Into Med School 101
Latin
Fetal Pig Latin

9. How do you feel about your current relationship?

We’re going to get married and be together 4ever n ever
I’d like to dump her ASAP for a cute nurse
I have no interest in human relationships
I made up a medical mnemonic to profess my love to him/her

10. Do you like helping people?

I live for it
No, but I can pretend for the duration of a thirty minute interview
Not really. But I also don’t wish anyone any specific harm.
I prefer to hinder people when possible








11 comments:

  1. SO clever...and I'm happy to reaffirm that medical school would have been a poor choice for me!

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  2. I apparently live, breathe, and pee medicine.

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  3. Ewwww the smell of Cdiff!

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  4. Dr. Fizzy, You make me laugh. I once met a Hooters waitress who told me she wanted to go to med school...or take her real estate exam. This quiz could have sorted the poor thing out.

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  5. I got a maybe, which is more than good enough for me.

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  6. Baha, apparently I'm a born doctor. Which is really funny because there are still a gazillion other things I want to be and I am past the halfway mark in med school. But it is nice to know.

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  7. So Med school MIGHT be the choice for me, so says the quiz. And if not I can strip to pay off those loans. Ya know, I think if anything this quiz overestimates my stripping ability! ;)

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  8. So... I live, breathe and pee medicine. Good to know. Does this mean I don't need to head to the pharmacy? I mean, since I am peeing the stuff out...

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  9. I answered this truthfully, and the result was that I probably should not go to medical school. The problem is that I can fake sincerity really well, and I want a career with more status than a used car salesman, but I am not evil enough to be a politician. What else is left? I have been in medical practice for 28 years post residency.

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  10. This quiz is biased as fuck. What a waste of people's time.

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  11. This quiz is so not accurate... I don't want to be an armadillo or an an ant but does that make me not medical school material?

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