Tuesday, September 21, 2010


During my Spine rotation in residency, I had the joy of answering messages from patients. This was one of my favorites (click to enlarge):

In case you can't read it, it says that the patient is requesting a pain medication called Oxzydodole, which I can only imagine is pronounced "oxy-doodle". No such medication exists. (Also, the second scribble says the patient was too sick to show up to their appointment.)

I called the patient and asked them about it and they insisted that this was the spelling of the medication. Insisted. I told them there was no such thing as oxy-doodle. I finally looked in their chart and saw that last time we had given them a prescription for Mobic (an anti-inflammatory), so I called that in for them. (That's my handwriting, saying "Called in Mobic".)

(Yes, I know they probably meant oxycodone. But we specifically were not allowed to prescribe narcotics in that clinic for reasons that I don't have the energy to contemplate here. Possibly in order to enrage all the patients who came in.)


  1. Oxydoodles! New! From Frito-Lay! Why have ordinary cheese doodles, when you can get high as a kite with Oxydoodles!

  2. Thanks for almost killing me just now. I was chuckling throughout the whole thing but the "oxydoodles" totally got me. I barely survived choking on my sandwich; but, I'm not out of danger yet...the people in the nearby library cubicles don't look too pleased with my inability to stop laughing...

  3. I'm disappointed in the form designer. Under "barriers to learning", there isn't a tickybox for "Idiocy NOS". I suppose you could write it in under "Other", but you'd spend all your time writing it in...

  4. Oxydoodles: Witness the combined might of the pharmaceutical companies and the fast food industry. We'll all be addicted within a year. ;)