When I was a resident on a new rotation as a PGY2, our attending was orienting us to the therapy staff. She kept referring to me by my first name through the meeting, which is fine... I'd actually prefer if the therapists call me by my first name, since most of them are older and more experienced than I am anyway. But the weird thing was that she kept calling the other resident by his title.
For example, she would say something like, "If you feel the patient's medications need to be changed, you can page Dr. Lee or Fizzy."
I was baffled. Admittedly, the other resident was a PGY4 while I was just a PGY2, but we both had the same exact responsibilities on the ward. We were both licensed physicians. Neither one of us was boarded yet. He was five or six years older than me, but still just in his early thirties. So how come he was Dr. Lee and I was Fizzy?
And trust me, I do not have a difficult last name to remember or pronounce.
I just put it aside, thinking maybe the attending forgot my last name or something. But then the next day, another attending was going through the ward, introducing someone who was applying for a job. And he introduced us as: "This is Dr. Lee and this is Fizzy."
Strangely enough, these days I have the opposite problem. I want the staff on my unit to call me Fizzy and have told several of them so, but many of them persist in calling me Dr. Lastname. Or they called me Fizzy for a day, then went back to Dr. Lastname. It makes me really uncomfortable, for some reason, mostly because I'm the same age or younger than everyone and I feel like we're all on the same level. But after a few months of saying, "Call me Fizzy," I kind of gave up.
Conversely, I absolutely want all the patients to address me as Doctor, and it pisses me off incredibly when they ignore my introduction and immediately start addressing me by my first name.
Agree. I think it's funny that after 12 years Annie still calls me doctor. I've asked her not to.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind SOME patients calling me by my first name, usually those I've been with a long time and have been through a lot with. But it drives me NUTS when a new patient immediately starts calling me by my first name.
I especially find it annoying when a patient does that when I call them by their last name, which I always do.
ReplyDeleteI am a very youthful looking professor at a large state university in the South. I first started teaching here at age 30--younger than many of my grad students and easily confused with all the teaching assistants on campus. It was a struggle to get undergraduates to call me Dr./Prof. rather than Mrs./Ms./Hey you, etc. At the same time, they would often refer to their grad student TAs as Dr. and Prof. I was very irritated by this, even though I knew it was largely an unconscious gender bias being acted out.
ReplyDeleteI am now tenured, 8 years later. Still look like an undergrad, but rarely am called anything but Dr./Prof. I think a lot of it has to do with the confidence we learn to project. But it's certainly true that, for women (esp. younger women), this issue is alive and well in many professional settings.
Uh oh Fizzy -- Wait to the hate comments start pouring in about what an elitist snob you are (with a chip on your shoulder also) because you want to be called Dr.
ReplyDelete(BTW -- I ALWAYS call my adult patients by their last name, even if they are younger than I am, because I think it's the respectful thing to do. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be called Dr.)
OMDG: Nah, nobody on the internet would be that big a jerk :) I actually WANT staff to call me by my first name (and they don't), but I think with patients I barely know, it's a sign of mutual respect for me to call them Mr/Mrs Whatever and they call me Doctor.
ReplyDeleteFemina: I don't think I seem that confident, but maybe I do. Doubt it though. Also, nobody ever calls me Mrs/Ms, but I think that would really drive me crazy if they did.
I was always brought up to address anyone I met by whatever the proper honorific was (Sir, Madam, Dr, etc) and only at their discretion was I to address them by their first name.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Grumpy: If you've build a relationship with the person, then you can drop the formalities, but at first blush, everyone should be on proper titles/terms.
With people you've just met there's definitely some respect there. It must be frustrating once a level of familiarity has developed though.
ReplyDeleteIt also makes sure that the patient actually KNOWS that they are talking to a doctor, like that time I was in a patients room on rounds and the (female, of course) doctor was explaining something and the patient interrupts her to ask: Is a doctor going to come by today? Headdesk! (Or complaining on rounds with the female doctors boss (male, of course) that no doctor had been by all week!)
ReplyDeleteThough I've also met a (female) doctor who spoke to EVERYBODY (staff, patients, everybody else) in the personal mode (du) in German.
I decided a while ago to ask doctors (ones that I'm going to see more than once, at least), "What would you like me to call you?"
ReplyDeleteI've had doctors tell me, "Call me $Firstname. I don't have to be reminded I'm a doctor, I already know that." They've always wound up being excellent doctors.
I would never presume to call a Dr, even 1st yr intern, by their first name without their permission. But I've found that often the ones who, long term, insist on being called "doctor" are the ones with the biggest egos.
Moose: Rule of thumb is that any intern (or even resident) who makes med students call him Dr is probably an ass.
ReplyDeleteI always call patients by their last name - like you said, it's a respect thing. But I couldn't care less what they call me, and it seems futile to fight it. The majority of the respect in the doc/patient relationship comes from your tone, your actions, your words, rather than from a title. IMO.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a bit lame when a doctor insists that his patients call him Dr. My husband is a doc, and his patients sometimes call him "Dr. Firstname." I think it's endearing, so how's that for a compromise? You get the props AND the casualness of a first name. :) But, I have to admit, how does this even come up??? I never call my doctors anything -- when they walk into the room, I simply say, "hello." And, I've had long, ongoing relationships with a doctor (OB visits where you see your doctor very regularly) and I don't think I ever, ever called her anything to her face.
ReplyDeleteI had a clinical trial PI that switched signing the emails between the two us from Dr. last name to first name after I started using medical terminology (never met the man in person). I was using my work email... it could be the ‘medical blah blah blah’ job title that made him switch. In any case, I thought that was weird.
ReplyDeleteIt generally freaks me out when I get called Ms. last name. when the doc/hcp is older I think but, i’m... younger than you. when they are younger I think um, I don’t look that old do I? But it really boils down to feeling like they are talking to my mother. Until I tell people what to call me, most people just use my last name. My legal first name is difficult to pronounce for English speakers. Heck, I can’t even pronounce properly when I’m in English speaking mode.
I'm working toward being a doctor (psychological, not medical), and hopefully will work in hospital someday. Maybe it's silly, but I feel like if people feel the need to address me as doctor, it should be Dr. Firstname, as lawrun said.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how different fields treat the title of 'Doctor.' I'm not quite a month shy of finishing my PhD (gulp!). In academia, most people just go by their first names. I've never had anyone insist that I use their title, and I would consider anyone who did insist to be a major toolbot. I can't see any situation where I would insist on being called Dr. Lastname. (Dr. Firstname is right out because my given name is Laura. :P ) When I go to the doctor, it would feel very strange to call him/her by anything but Dr., yet if he/she was working on a research project with me I'd think nothing of being on a first-name basis.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, trying to get staff to call me by my first name has been a losing battle.
ReplyDeleteAh, the old "Doctor" nonsense ....
ReplyDeleteI have the same relationship to my physician as I do to my electrician, my plumber, or my accountant. I, the customer, am employing them, the tradesmen, to perform a service, and within the bounds of politeness they should accept any appellation I give them. I've used the same accountant for 12 years, and we've called each other by our first names since the day we met. I do the same with physicians with, as yet, no complaints. I would fire one who got on his high horse and insisted on being called "Doctor," and then I would tell the world why I had done so on Angie's List.
Gold tooth: Those doctors might not say anything to you, but I'll bet some of them are silently bothered by you calling them whatever you want. Maybe you were raised differently, but some people do find it insulting to be addressed by their first name by someone who they just met. I don't expect any special respect as a physician, but when I address a patient respectfully by their last name, I expect the same courtesy. Likewise, since I call staff members by their first name, I feel they should call me by my first name.
ReplyDeleteI do address doctors as Dr. Lastname (though my primary care doc goes by Dr. Firstname), but none of them calls me Prof/Ms/Mrs Lastname. It's always Firstname. This bothers me to no end, but I've never had the guts to call anyone on it. I am female and I look younger than I am. I'm actually rather comforted to hear that so many docs on here use last names and I rather wish mine would.
ReplyDeleteFemina: your "Mrs./Ms./Hey you" reminds me of an anecdote I ran across in a Reader's Digest of an instructor who introduced himself to his classes by saying "My name is Dr. Yu. You may call me Dr. Yu, or professor Yu, but do not call me, Hey, Yu."
ReplyDelete