Friday, March 4, 2011

What I learned my first year of residency


  1. "My son wants meatballs, give them to him! NOWWWW!!!!1ONE'

    Thanks I needed that after the night I had. :)

  2. Yeah, panel #6 is one of the reasons (albeit a lesser one) that I didn't do Internal Medicine.

  3. I never quite understood the draw of being a GI doctor...I don't know that I could handle spending my entire day talking about other people's poo.

  4. I love the four options for any and all joint injury, especially "joint injection that doesn't work"; it's still amusing to me how fervently people believe steroid injections are some kind of panacea for any and all joint damage, especially non inflammatory problems.

  5. Question frequently asked by family members of patients IN HOSPICE: How's he going to get stronger if he's not eating???

  6. I'll never forget the circular conversation I had with the mother of a very sick man in the ICU on the ventilator and getting tube feeds through a PEG.

    Mom: He's not getting better b/c you won't let him eat.

    Me: He's being fed through this tube here. See? It goes into his stomach.

    Mom: But how can he eat with that tube in his mouth (indicating the ET tube)?

    Me: He can't. That's why we're feeding him through this tube.

    Mom: That's why he's not getting better. You won't let him eat!

    I tried but I don't think she ever understood.

  7. I love difficult people that can't be reasoned with . Can't you make a meatball IV?

  8. HavenNyx: I suppose I could ground up a meatball and shove it through the PEG.

    I also once had a comatose patient whose mom said that he wanted to have sex. Uh...

    iamnothouse: Actually, lately I've been having fantastic "success" with joint injections, so maybe I should take that back :)

    Kate: Any time you have geriatric patients, I think you're going to spend a fair amount of time talking about poop. It's all they care about.

  9. Ughh. Doc put my 650+ lb, completely bed-ridden patient on lactulose. I spent the next six hours mopping up shit from the crevices of his pannus.