Monday, May 23, 2011

Tales From Intern Year: Step 3

When I was studying for Step 3, this was another QBank question I came across:

A 46 y.o. woman comes to the office for a health maintenance exam. Her exam is completely normal, but you notice that she has become fidgety as you turn to leave the room. You ask if there is anything bothering her and she tells you that she is concerned about her 15 year old son, who is also your patient. She says that she has walked in on her son masturbating six times in the past 2 weeks, and she found a "heterosexual adult magazine" under his mattress. She is worried about this "behavior". The most appropriate response to this patient is:

(A) From what you have told me, this seems like completely normal behavior for an adolescent boy

(B) He will regret it later on in life; masturbating causes infertility.

(C) I wish I could help but it seems that you need to take him to a psychiatrist for evaluation.

(D) It sounds like there is more to this story than you are telling me; he must have been sexually abused as a child.

(E) You should make him an appointment to see me as soon as possible; I need to evaluate him for a paraphilia.

(F) You should reprimand him next time you walk in on him masturbating.

I don't remember what the answer was, but I think I would go with:

(G) Learn to fucking KNOCK

Seriously, that poor (hypothetical) kid...


  1. OMG, that's hilarious. And I was thinking G the whole time.

  2. Exactly. I knock on both kids doors before I enter, it's a sign of respect, no?

  3. (H) This is the 21st century, you really should provide your son with internet access.

  4. I'd be interested to know the distribution of who guessed those answers. My guess is there are a lot of repressed B's kicking around and some very angsty C's

  5. ::laughs:: In this day and age it's hysterical to me that people even worry about this anymore.

    Also, she FOUND his 'adult' material? Isn't it all on the interwebs now ?

  6. D would have only been appropriate if his visual aids were muscle magazines.

  7. Learn to lock the friggin door, kid. 6 times in 2 weeks...hint hint!

  8. Maybe the kid thought he was doing a better job covering up than he really was :)

  9. If I ever walked in on my son doing that I would be afraid to even think about approaching his door without making my presence known and knocking loudly, then WAITING for an answer. Poor kid.

  10. How weird! I've got essentially the same question in NCLEX practice. My book says the correct answer (for a nurse, at least) is A.

    But a classmate and I decided on answer J: "Ma'am, after the third time in two weeks, I think it stopped being accidental. Why don't you have a seat over there."

  11. (H) Now would be a good time to buy some stock in Kleenex.

  12. Patient is lying. She walked in on her husband. Tell her that his fleeing to porn is due to her not taking care of business.

    Believe're doing her husband a favor.