Weekly Whine: Bank of America

Back when I was a naive little freshman college student, my parents helped me start up my own bank account in the town where I was going to school. There was a Bank of America right on campus on they were offering some good no-fee deals to clients under age 19, so I opened up an account there.

It was fine while I was in college, but at some point around when I graduated, they made up some rule that if you didn't have over $2,000 in checking, you had to pay like $20 per month. So began a frustrating ritual of trying to keep over $2,000 in my checking account because I was too lazy to just close the account.

I was just a poor med student then and it was hard to look at a bank account with $2,000 and desperately need money, yet not be able to touch it.

One day, I had $2,021 in the account. I needed money, so I withdrew $20, thinking I would still be safe. Except unbeknownst to me, the ATM fee was $2.50. So I was a dollar and fifty cents below the cutoff. I didn't realize this error or replenish the account for about three months, and I was furious that I had just lost $60 over nothing.

I angrily went to the nearest Bank of America branch and angrily told them I was shutting down the account. They tried to dissuade me with temptations of fee-less accounts, but I didn't believe them. I closed the account.

Six years later......

I got a letter from a collection agency saying I owed like $70 to Bank of America. They said that the bank was going through their old files and collecting accumulated fees on dormant accounts. Except I didn't have a dormant account. I closed my account six years earlier, which is why I had no money in their bank and had not received one piece of mail from Bank of America in that time until this letter from the collection agency.

It's a good thing they had pissed me off so much that I vividly remembered closing the account.

I had to call Bank of America. It took them a while to find my old account, because I couldn't remember my address in med school. And also because it had been closed six years ago. Which they quickly confirmed.

They called off the collection agency goons and I followed up to confirm my credit wasn't being ruined by a nonexistent bank account.

The whole thing made me furious, much more so than the first time. Were they just sending collection agencies after everyone who'd ever had an account with them, hoping that it was a small enough amount of money that people would get spooked and just pay it? Considering how hard it was for them to find my account and how easily they confirmed it was closed once they did, I find it hard to believe they legitimately thought I owed them money.

Anyway, good job, Bank of America. I will never open an account with you ever again. And I will tell everyone I know how much you suck.