Saturday, August 20, 2011

Weekly Whine:Teen Idols are UGLY

Is it just me or are the male teen idols these days nowhere near as attractive as they used to be?

I accidentally saw a bit of that Disney TV show with the Jonas brothers recently. I know girls go crazy for the Jonas brothers, so I always assumed they were fairly hot. But when I saw the show, I was shocked. The Jonas brothers are NOT hot. They are the opposite of hot. They're totally dorky and not in a good way. I don't think Justin Bieber is particularly attractive either... at best, I think he could be a cute girl.

Am I out of touch? Are these guys actually wildly attractive in a way that my 30-something year old brain simply can't comprehend?

I really don't think so. I mean, hot is hot, right? I can find attractiveness in the teen idols of the past. For example, Paul McCartney was one of my mother's favorites:

He's cute, right? I'd like to give him a haircut, but he can totally pull that look off. And then there's a star from the 70s, like David Cassidy:

Again, desperately in need of a haircut, but I still think he's attractive. And moving into the 80s, we've got Kirk Cameron:

I could do without the mullet, but not bad, right? And then of course, from the 90s, when I was about the same age as the girls slobbering over the Jonas brothers, we've got Zack Morris from Saved By the Bell:

I know some girls preferred Slater, but Zack was always my favorite by a mile. I mean, what a cutie, right? Either way, Zack and Slater were two really hot guys.

And now compare with Nick Jonas:

I mean, seriously? Seriously?? Am I blind or something?


  1. So you missed the Tom Cruise in Top Gun and Charlie Sheen in Platoon that were my hotties, but look how they turned out. Can't blame you for leaving them out.

  2. Yeah, I don't get it with the teen idols either. I guess they're supposed to look all cute and cuddly? Like a puppy? To me cute and cuddly is not the same thing as sexy.

    Me, I'm much more into raw masculinity (a la Tom Cruise in Top Gun, or Matthew McConaughey in Lone Star.... though aren't nearly so hot now. I am also partial to Ed Norton in pretty much everything for some reason.

  3. The Jonas Brothers are not as bad as the guy in the Twilight movies.

  4. Sorry, I stopped at the part where Paul McCartney was your *mother's* favorite.

    When did I get to be the age of peoples' mothers?

    Never mind me, kids. Go out and enjoy yourselves. I'll be just fine...

  5. I agree and even with the girl idols these days.

    Why is it that as I was walking through the mall the other day every teenage boy had that stupid Justin Bieber haircut.

  6. It's because they haven't mastered the "Teen Idol Head Tilt", as demonstrated by Cassidy, Cameron, and ... uhhh ... Zack ... whatever his name is ...

  7. When you go through the decades, the teen idols look less and less manly...

    In his defense, that Twilight guy was cute when he was still playing Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter, but in either movie be doesn't compare to Save by the Bell's Zack. And how can anyone who sparkles in daylight still be considered sexy?!

  8. OK this is hilarious because to me they ALL look pretty much the same except for the ever-evolving shaggy hairstyle.

    This will blow your mind:

  9. Sunflower: Tom and Charlie were a little bit older so I don't think of them so much as *teen* idols. Although to be fair, I guess Paul McCartney was older too.

    OMDG: I love Ed Norton! Even in the Incredible Hulk movie.

    Thatgirl: Yeah, I totally don't get how either of the Twilight guys are hot.

    Astraea: Wow, that was amazing. Those women *really* look like him.