One of my mother's great joys in life is buying clothing for her only daughter (i.e. me). The two of us have very different taste in clothing, which is kind of a problem. The other problem is that she thinks I'm a size Large and I think I'm a size Small. (Or maybe she doesn't think I'm a size Large so much as she thinks I'm still going to grow a few inches this year so I need to buy things big and grow into them.)
Last year, my mother bought me a bunch of shirts and they are all what I call "comment-provoking" shirts. What that means is that when I wear any of these shirts, someone at work (usually someone much older than me) will undoubtedly make a comment along the lines of, "I like your shirt."
I do not like this.
First, I don't like being complimented on a shirt that I know looks ridiculous. I wore one of these shirts on Halloween and someone thought it was my costume, so I know it didn't look good. I only wore it because I was sick of my usual clothing rotation and it pains me to see a shirt in my closet with the tag still on it.
Second, I generally dislike compliments about my clothes from people I see every day. Because if they have complimented me, that means they noticed my clothing. And that means that I can't wear that outfit again too soon because as a woman, I have to maintain the illusion of never ever wearing the same outfit twice, despite the fact that I basically rotate between 6-7 different shirts and pants.
Damn, it's hard to be a woman.
lol at the word 'comment provoking' !
ReplyDeleteYou're weird....
ReplyDeleteBah for work I wear the same stuff week to week basically. Outside of work, totally different story.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could convince your mum to go shopping with you, instead of just for you, so you can provide some insight.
OMDG: Why? :)
ReplyDeleteHaven: I haven't had time to go shopping with my mum since the 20th century, certainly not these days.
Maybe you could discreetly return them for better options?
ReplyDeleteWorst compliment in the world? "Wow, you look great! I didn't recognize you!"
ReplyDeleteI've had to forbid my Mom from ever buying me clothes, particularly non-returnable ones. I also hate compliments on my clothing, but mainly because it gives me the impression that if people like what I'm wearing on a given day that they must not like what I wear on other days.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to understand how you feel..at first I attributed it to bougeois neuroticism, as we worry about all the wrong things, and lack authenticity in a bougie society that is all about appearance and facade. We have such abundance that we forget that most people in the world are just tring to make it through the day, not worry about what others think about how many times they have worn a particular article of clothing.
ReplyDeleteI try to remember what Rupaul says: 'What other people think is none of my concern.'
But my sister says that is very hard for a woman to accept, because they are raised to be more socially connected, and to believe that what others think about them is all important...essentially needing more mutual validation from others to promote self esteem. (I suppose that is ultimately where 'comment cards' and 'feedback surveys' come from in some clinics I have worked in? ...a female social dynamic/paradigm at work? I wonder.)
Solitary: Yeah, that too.
ReplyDeletePVJ: Maybe you can advocate for relinquishing all possessions on your home planet of Vogsphere.
I totally wear the same stuff all the time (I rotate around 4 skirts and about 5 dresses and various tops) and manage to do rather well. People seem to think I have a lot more clothes than I do.
ReplyDeleteThen again, I'm in my clerkship and we get evaluated on our appearance. 5/5, baby! :D
You could just politely suggest she give you the money to buy the clothes you'll pick out yourself, or you two go together and say she allow you to choose and express your individuality?
ReplyDeleteI don't know.... I usually just try to take compliments about my appearance at face value (even if I suspect people are lying, like when they lie about liking my hair). It's just easier that way. And, I'd never let a compliment keep me from re-wearing an item of clothing shortly after. That's just silly. Or maybe I'm just a slob.
ReplyDeleteBut hey, if you don't like it, you don't like it. You're entitled.
One of the reasons I'm aiming for Emergency medicine is the opportunity to wear scrubs to work. As a man, it boils down to just liking to wear pajamas. If I were a woman, I think it would be nice to wear scrubs to work for the reasons you listed above.
ReplyDeleteNo the worst compliment is "wow, you look like a girl today!" I totally get you for not wanting to be noticed for your clothes. I want my clothes to look nice enough I'm creating a positive sub-conscious reaction in people, but not enough to actually create a verbal or conscious reaction.
ReplyDelete