Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike kissing. I like kissing people that I love. I sometimes will just sit there kissing my baby for like twenty minutes nonstop. (It's like kissing a peanut.) But what I don't like is kissing people as a greeting.
I can deal with shaking hands. I think shaking hands is a good greeting (except in the field of medicine, where is probably spreads massive germs). I can deal with hugging, I suppose. But to me, it just seems distasteful to put your mouth on someone you don't love (or lust). I wouldn't even want to kiss my somewhat close relatives such as aunts or uncles. It just feels so fake and awkward.
Getting used to the physical contact on greeting was huge when I met Luca's family, since my family doesn't even hug. Fortunately, when they do the cheek kiss thing, lip never *actually* touches skin, so it's a lot less icky than it seems like it might be. Over time I actually grew to like it.... well, the hugging part anyway. The kissing is still confusing to me. Some people do 2 kisses, some do 3, and everyone seems to know the rules about when to do which except me.
ReplyDeleteIn my country, we do the kiss on the cheek thing (once). The lips never end up actually touching the other person's face, though. It's definitely a cultural thing, and I grew up with it, so it doesn't bother me. When I first moved to the US, I felt sad that people only hugged, but now I've grown used to it and feel that a hug is a lot more meaningful!
ReplyDeleteOMDG - in France apparently it is regional, the further away from Paris you are the more you do (somebody actually did a study and published the results). I assume Luca is of Italian heritage? I live in Italy - here in the very Germanic north it is 2, one each side but really kept for good friends you haven't seen for a while. I spent Christmas/New Year last year down in the DEEP south and to be honest didn't notice them choosing to do more. I find a very keen eye for the other person's head movement usually gives a pretty good indication.
ReplyDeleteWhat I do hate is the affected version common in the south of England with "mwah mwah" sound effects. It isn't their tradition - why do it?
I had to get used to it. My boyfriend's family is Colombian and when we were just down there for the holidays, they all thought it was really funny that I was so uncomfortable. I'm sure in time I'll get used to it but for now I still hesitate before I go in for the hug. He did give me a pointer on the air kiss (because like everyone else said, the lips don't actually touch the skin)- always point your head left first, then right.
ReplyDeleteI just moved back to Quebec, and here they also do the 2 kisses thing (in rare occasions, 4). You ever have that weird sensation when you think you're going to hug, but it ends up being an air-kiss? Definitely awkward to figure out.
ReplyDeleteI AGREE!!!
ReplyDeleteIn my culture the socially appropriate greeting is the air kiss upon greeting other women. I've done it all my life though I don't particularly enjoy it. Sometimes you'll air kiss men upon greeting them especially if it is, like, Thanksgiving. Generally only family members who are male would expect this. Non-family air kiss = awkward. Even when I do air kiss a woman I'm greeting, its so trite that I dont even make the kiss 'noise', I just put my face to one side of their face, and then the other, as I say, "hi how are you?" etc.
ReplyDeleteI dont actually put my lips on anyones cheeks unless, say, I'm greeting my grandmother or aunt or grandfather or something.
I don't even really like to hug people as a greeting, besides my boyfriend. I don't understand serial huggers. I think they must have been neglected in a past life.
I did a semester in France, Orleans, and they bised all the time. I'm a massive germaphobe (and was then, even as a small child I was). I would scrub my face red almost every day. Some wouldn't actually kiss you (they would just air *smooch* your cheek, that's fine by me) but some of them would put their lips on you. I remember one lady in particular at some kind of party, she literally wet my face. My face had a freakin' wet spot from her germy, disgusting lips. I almost puked.
ReplyDeleteSadly, that is one of my top 5 most vivid memories from my semester. I barely remember the Champs-Elysee or Eiffel Tower, but this woman's face and her slobbery lips are burned on my memory as clear as a Polaroid.
EWWWW @ Amanda! That is sooo gross. I agree with NurseyNurse, I think serial huggers were neglected in their younger years or something. They do this a lot at my church and I'm not a big fan of touching other people or having them touch me, all up in my space. They say I need deliverance from something, and I'm like yes, from you germy people touching me or violating my space. Sorry I'm getting grossed out and angry over here. But what is the deal with hugging? I honestly don't mind an air kiss as long as the other person doesn't touch my face. My Godmother is a big kisser and grossed me out something nice a few years ago when she kissed me. I too am a germaphobe and has been since I was young. Well I am going to stop this comment now because these thoughts are haunting me and making me want to vomit.
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