Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Conditions you don't learn to treat in med school

Thanks to Alex G for the inspiration!


  1. There is no cure for dumb ass. And there never will be.

  2. Treatment for brain freeze: Lift your tongue up and back and hold it to the roof of your mouth right where your hard palate meets your soft palate. Right there is the vagus nerve, and pressing your tongue against it rewarms it so it stops sending "you're too cold" signals.

    I do this several times when I'm eating soft serve ice cream or a thick milkshake. My husband loved me for it, he can eat ice cream at the rate he eats his normal food (he gobbles it, inhales it, a plate in under 5 minutes, which is ingrained in him from a decade in the military.

  3. Awesome! I can't believe you used my idea. Of course you added to it and made it much funnier than I could have. The Romney reference is pretty funny.

  4. LMAO!! I really liked the last one.

  5. Two left feet - physical therapy
    Brain fart - Namenda
    Blue balls - open-book maneuver to relieve tortion
    Brain freeze (aka sphenopaletine ganglioneuralgia) - eat slowly
    Butterflies in stomach - beta-blocker
    Dumb buttocks - physical therapy

    I went to a creative medical school.

  6. Now why couldn't you work "been to all 57 states" and "corpseman" in there?