Sunday, February 12, 2012


I do all the cooking in our house. And I use the word "cooking" very loosely. If something needs to even be microwaved, it falls to me.

A while ago, my husband wanted some rice and he asked if I could make it for him. I was busy and it was Uncle Ben's instant rice. It was the kind that's in a package and all you have to do is put the package in the microwave for 90 seconds. You don't even have to take it out of the package. I told him that I thought he could handle that on his own.

So I went into the kitchen and I see the rice is in the microwave. It's lying on its side instead of upright, but I figured that shouldn't matter. All of a sudden, I hear a really loud BANG. I looked over at the microwave:

Me: "Oh my god, the bag of rice exploded open!!"

Husband: "What? How did that happen?"

Me: "I can't even trust you to microwave a bag of rice...."

Husband: [hangs head] "But... I followed the instructions carefully..."

Me: "Did you put it in for only 90 seconds?"

Husband: "Yes!"

Me: "Well, maybe it's because you didn't put the rice upright?"

Husband: "But it wouldn't stay up!"

I pulled the bag of rice out of the microwave and examined it. "Hey, you didn't open the tab to vent the rice!"

Husband: [confused] "But I thought you're supposed to vent the rice AFTER cooking it."

Me: [reading package of rice] "Step 1, shake package. Step 2, open the tab to vent the rice. Step 3, microwave for 90 seconds. Step 4, eat the rice."

Husband: "Oh."

Me: [shakes head]


  1. When I first read this, I definitely thought the microwave was on its side instead of upright! That would have been worse...

  2. how did he survive before marrying you?

  3. Hannah: Well, he definitely knows not to turn the microwave on its side before using it.

    SuFu: I'm thinking fast food :)

  4. Geez. I hope you never leave him alone overnight. He could die.

  5. I think they do this on purpose so that they don't have to do it again!

  6. Lol!! This made me laugh so loudly! I can totally empathize with your husband - that would have been me if my husband had asked me to cook instant rice, I am AWFUL in the kitchen!

  7. Men ... *shakes head* hahahhaha

  8. Now I know why my new daughter-in-law lets my son do the cooking--she has microwave-phobia paranoia!

    See what can happen when you don't have the latest DSM!

    But it could also be borderline microwave disorder... Hmmm. Oh my, gosh, will I ever get the Dx right?

  9. I think your hubby and I have a few things in common. And yes, fast food is how I survived before meeting my wife.

  10. Those microwavables can be super tricky...