Are you never satisfied, Breast Nazis?
With my first child, I supplemented with formula. I make no secret of that, and honestly, I don't see wrong anything with it. (It saved me from needing the vitamin supplement drops that I spilled on our sheets and could not be washed out after three runs in the washing machine. WTF?) But certain women called me out and said it was horrible, HORRIBLE to give my baby formula.
My idea of "horrible" is the three month old baby I saw in the ED with multiple fractures from abuse. But whatever. I was HORRIBLE for giving formula.
With my second child, I was totally on the ball. I started pumping during my maternity leave and had a huge stash of breastmilk when I went back that was the envy of all the villagers. The only problem is that I have to actually use that milk before it expires, so I store my freshly pumped milk and use the frozen milk that is close to expiration.
Except now I'm HORRIBLE for using icky frozen breastmilk over the freshly pumped milk. I mean, what the hell is the point of building a stash if I'm just going to let it expire and throw it away? And then what will I do when I ramp down the pumping and now my whole stash is expired?
Of course, it doesn't matter because I'm horrible for using a bottle at all. I should be nursing directly all day. And all night too, since it's HORRIBLE to try to train your baby to sleep through the night.
What kind of idiots are you talking to, Fizzy? Please tell me these aren't people you work with...
ReplyDeleteOMDG: I usually schedule these whines far in advance, and I believe it was the comments on this post that inspired the rant:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mothersinmedicine.com/2011/11/my-morning.html
I couldn't nurse my daughter she was lactose intolerant. Tried nursing my son, managed 2 months but he had too aggressive a suck, and the pain was just not worth it, and the bleeding... wow kid looked like a vampire one time after a feeding.
ReplyDeleteBoth of my children have higher than average IQs, had two ear infections in their lifetimes, and have not had any major health issues, except my daughter's who's are minor considering her start in the world (APGAR 0, 2, 6 ) Asthma.
Breastfed babies for >12 months of friends - chronic ear infections, developmental delays, autism, food allergies, social anxiety, speech delays... etc.
I am not a fan of the breast is best theory.
Though the commenters obviously had not read the whole comment thread (since they were repeating themselves about that one pubmed citation), those comments didn't strike me as worthy of a "breast-nazi" tag. I have seen some judgemental and harsh comments about parenting, birth, and breastfeeding, but those just seemed naive (for not thinking about things from a working mother's perspective) and lazy at worst (for not reading the comment stream) to a clumsy attempt at education at best.
ReplyDeleteHere's my own pumping story: I had a great stash (82 ounces - see how I still remember that, 10 years later?) stored up for my first kid. When she was about 7 or 8 months old and my supply at work was really starting to flail, my husband left the freezer door ajar (it used to pop open if you slammed the fridge door too hard) and most of the milk started defrosting. Which means you have to use it within 24 hours. *sob* So for one day he and the sitter gave bottles and I pumped what measly amount I could to replenish my stores. And then I cried when we had to dump half of the stash. I made him do it, I seriously cried. And for the rest of my pumping experience (until she was 1), I never had more than 4 or 5 ounces in the fridge, it was seriously stressful.
Azmomo2: I think it's established that everything else being equal, breast is best. But is everything else EVER equal? If breastfeeding is going to make you go so crazy that you can't even see straight, is that going to be good for your baby? I say happy mother > breastfeeding mother.
ReplyDeleteLarissa: Oh god, that story is terrible.... when we moved recently, I was so protective of my stored milk. Anyway, I don't know if the commenters were necessarily breast nazis, so much as people who always feel like they know how to raise your kid better than you do. Like there was some other post I made where someone decided to comment that I was putting my kid in the carseat wrong. I mean, really? But anyway, it just irked me because I worked so hard to make sure my baby had all breastmilk, yet people STILL found a way to tell me that I wasn't doing the best thing for the baby. You can't win.
My wife didn't breastfeed, and told the breastfeeding Nazi that she wasn't interested. The woman threatened to call CPS on us.
ReplyDeleteLOL do the same people think breast feeding is fine and dandy when you get the crazy moms who are still breast feeding their 8 year olds? http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/eight_years.html
ReplyDeleteIt's a personal decision, the kid will grow up perfectly fine either way, it is just wrong to try and guilt mothers into breast feeding when they choose not to or are unable to.
Re: the glutathione bit. My recollection of biochem is a bit fuzzy, but don't we recycle our own glutathione in the pentose pathway? Not to nerd out on you or anything.... but not sure how helpful eating it is unless we have special glutathione transporters in our gut or something. Which I don't recall learning about in biochem or GI.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing the exact same thing. My first got supplemented with formula at 3 months & only formula from 6 months on when my supply tanked & I couldn't pump more than a couple of ounces a day (great use of time!!) This time I literally FILLED the freezer during maternity leave (I had an oversupply issue & took full advantage of that for a few weeks) and am now thawing & using old milk + freezing pumped milk for the daytime bottles. He's still getting breastfed in the AM and at night but will stop that as soon as we sleep train.
ReplyDeleteI just saw an infant who is essentially a vegetable because his father beat his brain to a pulp. And the mother & grandmother wouldn't remove him from the ventilator because the dad would go to jail for longer, if the child died.
Yeah, bottles, thawed breast milk, and sleep training are horrible. HORRIBLE.
Yeah! HORRIBLE! You're also supposed to at home all day taking care of your babies, emotionally nagging everyone, and standing all day in the kitchen barefoot, cooking dinner for your husband. HORRIBLE!!!!
ReplyDelete(that was sarcasm btw)
My mom supplemented with formula for me and my sister...sometimes it's just easier, especially when going out of house, and my cousins always have powder-based supplemental milk handy JUST IN CASE, even though the baby actually doesn't even like it.
I just want to say that although studies show breastfeeding is the best, moms in general are great for doing what they do, regardless of the specifics. Many moms already feel horible when they can't breastfeed for whatever reason, and it is HORRIBLE in my opinion to torture them any more than they torture themselves.
ReplyDeleteOMDG - That would be hysterical to me to find out that this precious thrice pubmed-cited molecule is not nearly as near and dear to the breastmilk as the zealots would have us believe.
ReplyDeleteFizzy - I completely agree, there are some people out there you just can't please. They are the crazy 1% and we the sane 99% need to occupy the internet!
It will never be enough to satisfy the self righteous do-gooders. They will forever think that they are justified in tormenting whomever they please, because in their minds, they believe they are helping, no matter how inappropriate they become.
ReplyDelete"Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victim may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated, but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." -- C. S. Lewis.
OMDG reminded me of something way back in the fuzzy biochem past, and a very quick Medscape search revealed the following:
ReplyDeleteAcetaminophen toxicity is, after all is said and done, a result of too little glutathione to metabolize the acetaminophen intermediate metabolites. As such, it would be absolutely wonderful if we could get people full of glutathione, and they'd happily metabolize their overdosed acetaminophen and we'd all go home happy. Except we can't. Because glutathione is extremely crappily absorbed through the gut. As in, oral supplementation in high doses does not produce a significant increase in glutathione in the body. So we treat people with a precursor, N-acetylcisteine instead.
So while breastmilk may have glutathione in it, it sure as hell isn't getting into the baby's system intact and ready to work. Larissa... might this be the hysteria you were after? :P
Thank you Snarky! You made my day!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteYeah, because unless you're a perfect mother that stays at home all day, doing nothing more than taking care of your baby (and don't you dare try finding a job, or working part time!), breast feeding 24/7, and wearing mom jeans - you cannot possibly be a good mom!!! Oh, and that also includes having had your baby vaginally, with no epidural, and using a kiddy pool in the middle of your living room. Yeah, that's a good mom...
ReplyDeletePeople are insane.
That is terrible that people think it's their job to make other moms feel bad for whatever reason. Breastfeeding, cloth diapering, vaccinations, co-sleeping, solid foods. I could go on forever. I am the mom of 4 kids (13-3 years old). Guess what, all of my kids were formula fed. My oldest is a brilliant straight A student who has been in gifted since 1st grade, my 8 yr old is in gifted as well (A-B student), other 2 are just starting school. Everyone has to make the right choice for them and their family. Most people need to learn to mind their own business and worry about themselves!!
ReplyDeleteI work with breastfeeding and sometimes I advice the mothers to supplement. And I had once a patient with 18 freezers (!!!!) full of milk that was about to expire and there was NO way she would be able to finish it on time, all that stressed time pumping for nothing... Some people go overboard! I think in some cases supplement is better for the family unit than breastfeeding! everything is individual and need to work for everyone. There is really no black or white answer!
ReplyDeleteF those obsessive breast feeding Nazi women...haven't they watched "Law and Order"?
ReplyDelete