Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Better than a colostomy

Since every patient I've ever since in my entire career is constipated (except of course, for the ones with diarrhea), I have made good friends with Milk of Magnesia (MOM). A while ago, I wrote the following order on a patient:

"Please give MOM every 6 hrs until patient has a bowel movement."

Then I remembered that the patient had a G-tube and thus should receive the MOM through the G-tube. So as not to create any confusion, I decided to add this to my order. Unfortunately, in my haste, the order came out:

"Please give MOM every 6 hrs until patient has a bowel movement through his G-tube."

I didn't even notice what I had written until I got paged by like five nurses, giggling about a patient pooping through his G-tube. "Look what you wrote, Doctor! Hee hee!"


  1. ...Well done. I so thought this was going to be a joke about someone's mother. Didn't see that one coming!

  2. As an intern, I once wrote an order for "SCDs per rectum". In my defense, it was "delirium hour" in the ICU (that is, the time somewhere between 2 am and breakfast when I need either sleep or bacon to clear my mind). The nurses joked about it even up to my graduation day. They probably still do.

  3. I remember a tired doctor wrote an order for "SCD to BLE" when the patient had bilateral AKAs. :D