Condom Catheters

A lot of stroke, brain injury, and spinal cord injury patients have problems with incontinence. For men, they have the option of using something called a condom catheter, which is basically an external catheter over the penis that catches urine, which drains into a tube then into a bag.

During residency, one of my patients was being discharged, so I had to order him a supply of 60 condom catheters. But I wasn't sure how to do this. My attending suggested I order it through Prosthetics, so I tried that.

A day later, I got a call from Prosthetics, where they laughed at me for trying to order condom catheters from Prosthetics. They told me to order it through the pharmacy. So I did.

Long story short, the next day, 60 boxes of Trojan condoms arrived on the ward.

The nurses found this hilarious. I came to the ward and they were all holding boxes of condoms and giggling. I called the pharmacy to try to straighten this out. I had to go through three explanations of what happened before someone could actually help me. I have this feeling they were just passing the phone around, saying, "You've got to hear this story..."

Me: "I was trying to order 60 condom catheters for my patient, but the pharmacy sent us 60 boxes of condoms."

Pharmacist: "Well, some people make their own condom catheters out of condoms...."

Me: "Um, maybe you should transfer me again..."

Finally, I reached someone who knew how to put in the order for condom catheters. Except they left out the spermicide. (Just kidding.)