A conversation I overheard on the ward between our very loud urology consultant and, I guess, the mother of one of his patients:
Urologist: "YEAH, I EXAMINED YOUR SON AND HIS PENIS IS REALLY SMALL. IT'S ABNORMALLY SMALL. I WOULD CALL IT A MICROPENIS."
[pause]
Urologist: "NO, IT WAS DEFINITELY AN ABNORMALLY SMALL PENIS. ALSO, I COULDN'T PALPATE ANY TESTICLES. NOPE, I COULDN'T FIND THEM AT ALL."
[pause]
Urologist: "ALSO, I'M NOT SURE IF YOU NOTICED THIS, BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY BODY HAIR. YES, HE DOES HAVE HAIR ON HIS HEAD, BUT AN 11 YEAR OLD BOY SHOULD HAVE SOME BODY HAIR. OF COURSE, THAT COULD BE EXPLAINED BY THE LACK OF TESTICLES."
Nurse: "Oh my god, he is really loud."
Why is it always the urologist with the loudness issue. "NO SIR, IT IS NOT SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE. IT IS FAR FAR BELOW TWO STANDARD DEVIATIONS!!!"
ReplyDeleteBecause that's how loud you have to be when Mom is sitting there, hands covering her ears, rocking back and forth, "Please stop talking about my son's penis."
ReplyDeleteAh, surgeons.
ReplyDeletePoor kid...
ReplyDeleteEekos peekos penis
ReplyDeleteHeh, glad you remember that :)
DeleteOh, that poor kid is scarred for life!
ReplyDeleteHe actually said "micropenis?" Oh dear god.
ReplyDeleteYes. And he said it in that loudest voice anyone has ever said micropenis.
Delete"micropenis" sounds incredible rude. That's not an official medical term is it? Either way, I might just have punched the urologist for being a jerk.
ReplyDeleteYes it's a real condition (wikipedia it). The boy probably had some kind of androgen deficiency/insensitivity. If he is ever to mature properly he will most likely need hormone therapy for the rest of his adolescence. While definitely being insensitive, the urologist was not being a "jerk". My guess would be that he's an IMG (from another country) and has social sensitivity issues.
DeleteHe wasn't an IMG, just really old.
Deletehopefully in the next generation, docs like this will be eliminated with the new mcat personality component. if only the verbal reasoning was an actual verbally spoken test.
ReplyDeleteIf the kid had such a small penis and no testicles, why or how did his pediatrician not notice this? At 11 years old, would it be on the late side to be starting hormone treatments?
ReplyDeleteSorry, I don't know any other details.
DeleteI agree it is a major pediatrician fail if he had been seeing a pediatrician. However, starting hormone treatments at 11 should give him a fairly normal puberty except for his anatomic problems, which are likely congenital. "He" could actually have experienced an androgen overexposure in utero, and be 46xx.
DeletePhillip Bailey
We have an older obgyn that speaks really loudly too. He leaves his door open when he calls patients back, and you can hear him telling them their test results from down the hall. Not so bad when things like STDs come back negative, but I feel embarrassed for the person on the other end when I hear "WELL, YOUR GONORRHEA TEST WAS POSITIVE"
ReplyDeleteIt also gets awkward when you're talking to really old patients with hearing trouble and have to yell at them...
ReplyDelete"PLEASE TAKE OFF YOUR BLOUSE. YOUR BLOUSE! BLOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!"