When I was a medical student, I was examining a patient who had a stroke with left neglect. As part of the exam, I showed him something I had written on a piece of paper and asked him to read it.
The patient read, "YES."
What the paper actually said: "CLOSE YOUR EYES"
The patient neglected the left side of the sentence and only read the last three letters, which happened to be an actual word in itself. Sort of fascinating from a neurological point of view.
I feel like this happens a lot on the internet. People will read something you write, pick out a quarter of a sentence they don't like, and freak out on you. For example, take the following cartoon I drew:
When it was posted on KevinMD, one woman got upset because she took it as offensive to stay at home moms. That in the cartoon, I was making a negative statement about SAHMs. Except I was in no way, shape, or form did I mean anything like that. I think if you read the whole cartoon and don't have a chip on your shoulder, that's completely obvious. But if you only look at that one panel and are sensitive about being a SAHM, then I can't definitely see how it might set you off.
Basically, when someone gets offended over something benign, it just makes me think less of them.
I hate it when you're so negative about my career in finance...ReplyDelete
I think that even if you read ONLY that panel, it would be difficult to be upset about what you're saying about being a SAHM.... because IT'S TRUE. Which means that SAHMs do really hard work that is often not fun.ReplyDelete
The woman who made that comment was clearly nuts. She should be forgiven however, because if I had to be a SAHM, I would go nuts too.
Incidentally, you commented over at MiM the other day that there were a bunch of comments that were deleted on your faux-BF study. Just wondering what some of them said.
People can be really dumb.
On the MiM post, one of the comments reappeared. You can read it above mine. They angrily informed me that my study doesn't constitute a real study and that I was irresponsible for posting it.Delete
I agree with Old MD Girl. It is true. Some people just don't enjoy being SAHPs. Nothing wrong with that. I personally do not, and am a SAHM only because it was necessary for a couple of years.ReplyDelete
Your posts are offensive to people who can only read one panel of a cartoon. Please remove all multi-panel cartoon immediately.ReplyDelete
Wouldn't this be saying that a SAHM has a job equally/possibly more shitty than medicine i.e. it is hard work. That lady needs to have a seat and re-evaluate herself.ReplyDelete
You know, I think everyone gets offended over relatively benign things, because that's human nature. As an example here, I've seen you get a little upset (a wee bit defensive) when you posted and expected people to agree with you, but were surprised to have so many responses in the other direction, regarding benign things.ReplyDelete
It's not a failing if you (generic you) can deal with being upset in an adult and rational matter, and recognize that there are views and opinions that are just as valid. It's unfortunate that people can't deal with that.
Are you suggesting that because one might get offended about something that another person deems unreasonable, that it is hypocritical -- and therefore impermissible -- for that person ever to tell another person that they are being unreasonable when they get upset about something they think is silly?Delete
I don't mind when people disagree with me, as long as they're not jerks about it. Actually, I like it. It's fun to argue a little. You disagreed with me and you're the only one I'm replying to.Delete
But what I was saying irritates me isn't getting offended over something relatively benign, but rather something basically non-existent. Reading one sentence of a post (or panel of a cartoon) and myopically reacting to it when the rest of the post has absolutely nothing to do with that and maybe even says the opposite... that's what bothers me.
Being at SAHM is a shitty job and we all know it. SAHM's get offended because they know it's true, but they can only do it by convincing themselves that it's worth it.ReplyDelete
Of course it's a shitty job. It's a non-paying, thankless job and you feel like you don't contribute to society. Not to mention people think you're lazy and that you didn't get a profession or degree, so that's why you're a SAHM. So, that's why the cartoon makes sense and it's funny.
I'm not bashing SAHM's. Just like I wouldn't any other job that sucks. But, let's face it, some jobs are pretty shitty and SAHM is one of them.
I don't know about SAHMs, but you know who I really respect? People who post nasty anonymous comments on blogs. Those are real champions of human decency.Delete
You know you agree with at least some of this...Delete
Fizzy, aren't you also under an anonymous identity with "Fizzy McFizz"?Delete
There's a difference between using a pseudonym and being entirely anonymous on the internet. I have a blog and an online identity, to which I am accountable. That's why some people don't allow anonymous comments, because they are much more likely to be trolls. People are less likely to be trolls if they have to use a real internet account. And I certainly don't go around leaving nasty comments on other people's blogs under this or any pseudonym.Delete
Not too sure if I count as having been a SAHM as although I didn't go out to work for most of my children's childhoods I did something even harder in many ways - I worked as a freelance translator. At home. It solved a lot of problems regarding childcare but there was no break except when they were out at school.ReplyDelete
But I will disagree with the concept that being a SAHM is a shitty job with no thanks and not contributing to society. You have a highly responsible job and it is your place to mould new citizens. In some ways it is remunerated - you are not having to earn money to pay for childcare. To suggest that it is a shitty job/no thanks etc means that, logically, you have also to say that working in childcare is also a shitty job with the same attributes. And if that is your opinion of childcare providers - why are you handing over the responsibility for teaching the next generation of citizens to such people?
And this particular SAHM - because for a couple of years I was - has technical qualifications and a degree as well as linguistic skills. I certainly never felt I was lazy being a SAHM - and what others thought was really of little interest to me.
Freelance translator does not equal SAHM, in case you were wondering, although you did get to be more of a SAHM with that job.Delete
I never said it wasn't a job without any responsibilities. Sure, you are molding new citizens, but so is everyone else who is human.
Are you kidding me with "you are not having to earn money to pay for childcare"?? That's not the main reason why one goes and gets a job. Obviously a salary pays for a lot more than just that.
I NEVER said that working in childcare is also a shitty job. That's totally different. You actually get paid and you take care of kids as an actual job. I'm talking about being housewife who stays at home and doesn't have an job with a salary.
I never said SAHM's are lazy or dumb. I said that's the impression people get from you, and I'm glad what others think is of little interest to you.
This whole people-being-offended-by-nothing business always reminds of the whole 'war on christmas' issue that people always bring up around the holidays, and the Daily Show's running bit around the whole kerfuffle. I feel like maybe it's an American thing? (I'm Canadian-- we just generally don't get too worked up over things that are of absolutely no consequence).ReplyDelete