Thursday, July 19, 2012


Have you ever heard of grapenuts cereal? There are no grapes in it, there are no nuts in it, so why is it called grapenuts? *buh dum ching* (But seriously, why is it called grapenuts?)

The commercial advertises it as a cereal that maintains its crunch in milk. The actor in the commercial is baffled at how crunchy it still is after sitting in milk for five seconds (which I suppose is a commentary on the sogginess of most cereals). And then they put a single grapenut in their mouth and marvel at how loud the crunching noise is. "You mean that noise is coming from only ONE grapenut?!! Why, that's preposterous!" I guess high sound volume is a desirable quality in cereal.

I've learned, however, that there's such a thing as TOO crunchy. My husband bought a box of grapenuts the other day and when I took a bite of it, I was overwhelmed by crunchiness. I felt like I had a mouthful of glass shards. I had to chew really careful, for fear my mouth was being cut to shreds by grapenuts.

So that's my new idea for an advertising slogan for grapenuts: "Grapenuts cereal: it's so crunchy, you'll swear you're eating broken glass!"

I know, I missed my calling in advertising.


  1. They are small like grape seeds.

    My dad used to cook Grape Nuts cereal for us: Pat of butter, milk, sugar ...microwave it for a minute or two and you have cooked Grape Nuts cereal. I loved it as a child - I wonder if I would love it today.

  2. Cooked is the only way to eat Grape Nuts without breaking your teeth.

  3. Grape Nuts are overrated. I'm not sure why anyone would want to eat them.

  4. Grape Nuts on vanilla ice cream is the only way I eat 'em.

  5. i read 'grapenuts.' first thing to come to mind is sarcoma botryoides - the grape like cluster of cancer in your nuts. :\
    FML... the Step exam will be over soon.

  6. I didn't know grapes had testicles.../dumb joke.

  7. I LOVE Grape-Nuts cereal! My all time favorite cereal. My only regret is it's high calories for such a small amount.

    But ..I let the milk soften the Grape-Nuts for at least a minute.

    You got me wondering and so"

  8. I remember it being advertised "as sweet as grapes, as crunchy as nuts.

    That said, I was a kid at my grandmother's with three loose teeth. It was early morning, she gave me a bowl of grapenuts. I ate it, along with the three teeth.

  9. I once ate grapenuts and my tooth broke. I'm dead serious.