Monday, August 6, 2012

America's Top Physicians

I'm very, very proud to announce that I have been named one of America's Top Physicians. Per a letter I received, the prestigious Consumer's Research Counsel of America has privately collected data to determine who the best physicians in the country are.

Now I'm not clear on how their algorithm works exactly. Something about pulling names out of a hat while wearing a blindfold... it's all very technical. In any case, it's definitely not a scam. Definitely not.

And oh yes, because I've been named a top physician, I can purchase an item to display this great, great honor I've received. For example, for only $229, I can purchase "a distinguished foil stamped proclamation certificate proclaiming your achievement and containing your personal information":

But for only $50 more, I can get a Lexington cup:

"Hand cut and polished crystal sets atop a solid block of Black Crystal and a laser engraved plate with your personal information."

Truly, I couldn't buy a greater honor.


  1. That is so funny! I always have to roll my eyes at the "Top (Anything)" ads where docs, lawyers, realtors, etc pay to be named one of the "top".

    Last time I checked you didn't have to pay to receive an award...

  2. Do they have one for medical students? How do I apply?

  3. Darn...I thought I was special...

  4. I pulled this from their website which shows just how upfront of an organization the Consumers Research Council of America is:

    "We do not accept fees, donations, sponsorships or advertising from any individuals, professionals, corporations or associations. This policy was enacted to ensure an unbiased selection for the lists of America's Best."

  5. Hmmm...that's so weird...I saw the exact same certificate at my dentist's...

  6. You should pick the cup... It could work for your hard candies, or your margarita.

  7. Ha ha! That reminds me of a letter I received naming me one of the "Who's Who among American High School Students" or something like that. I thought to myself, "Have they LOOKED at my GPA?!" :)