Patient: "My foot really hurts."
Me: "Oh..."
Patient: "Can I have some Vicodin?"
Me: "I have to talk to my attending."
Patient: "Also, do you have medical marijuana?"
Me: "No, we don't."
Patient: "And what's that other thing for pain...?"
Me: "??"
Patient: "Heroin."
Me: "!!!"
Patient: "I'm joking."
Did you give him the Vicodin? At least he had a sense of humor about it.
ReplyDeleteMe: "No, you're not."
ReplyDeletePt jumps into the back of our truck, asks for dilaudid. My medic partner looks at him and says "Ah, no. We don't carry dilaudid." I kept a straight face and refrained from offering him Tylenol.
ReplyDeleteReally giving him the vicodin would have been the least you could do ;)
ReplyDelete