Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Pain relief

Patient: "My foot really hurts."

Me: "Oh..."

Patient: "Can I have some Vicodin?"

Me: "I have to talk to my attending."

Patient: "Also, do you have medical marijuana?"

Me: "No, we don't."

Patient: "And what's that other thing for pain...?"

Me: "??"

Patient: "Heroin."

Me: "!!!"

Patient: "I'm joking."


  1. Did you give him the Vicodin? At least he had a sense of humor about it.

  2. Pt jumps into the back of our truck, asks for dilaudid. My medic partner looks at him and says "Ah, no. We don't carry dilaudid." I kept a straight face and refrained from offering him Tylenol.

  3. Really giving him the vicodin would have been the least you could do ;)