I am totally judgmental about how parents name their kids. Naming your child is a great privilege and sets the tone for their entire life. Maybe some parents freak out under this awesome responsibility, I don't know. But man, there are some terrible names out there.
I gave my kids The Best Names Ever. Obviously. But seriously, I'm pretty happy with them. One is a name that's persistently ranked around 80-100 in the top 100 names for the last half a century, meaning it's a well known name but one that isn't super common. The other is a very classic, timeless name that's common, but will likely never be dated. Of course, there are lots of great names out there, and most parents don't seem to screw it up.
What I don't approve of:
1) Giving your kid a non-name. Like naming them after a fruit, an article of clothing, a dishwashing detergent, or a feminine hygiene product. That's just wrong.
2) Trendy names.
I'm sure I'll take flak for #2 since by definition a lot of you have probably given your kids trendy names. I've said this before, but I just feel like the trendy names of today are going to be the old-fashioned names of tomorrow.
For example, would you name your kid Melvin? Probably not. But in 80 years, Mason is going to sound to the people of the 2090's exactly like Melvin does to us now. You are essentially naming your child Melvin. Think about it.
Furthermore, I've noticed another disturbing trend. It seems like a lot of recent popular boys names have evolved into girls names. For example, Jordan seems to have made a transition, and I'm noticing more and more little girls named Aiden and Riley (but spelled Rylee). How long before we start to have girl Masons out there?
So, essentially, when you name your child a trendy boys name, you may as well just name him Kelly or Ashley (both initially boys names!).
You seem to have too much time on your hands. Why exactly is it disturbing that names might evolve and change in gender, and why should you pass judgment on that?
ReplyDeleteI'm a man, often confused for a woman based on my foreign-sounding name. I can't think of a single instance in which this was a problem. But then again i probably frequent enlightened people.
For one, I find "classic, timeless" names boring and unimaginative, but i don't think less of you for choosing them - you like them, fine by me.
So could you do us a favor and do the same?
Sorry to get your vagina in a bunch, Nancy.
Delete:P
I take it back. I do think less of you. Bye bye
DeleteWell, you said you didn't mind being mistaken for a woman frequently....
DeleteGood one Fizzy!!
DeleteLOL, Fizzy you crack me up. Some people just don't have a sense of humor.
DeleteUh....
ReplyDeleteWay to insult my name, my daughter's name, and my husband's name.
No, I'm insulting *men* who have your name or your daughter's name.
DeleteYour name is actually a perfect example of a older boys name that evolved almost entirely into a modern girls names, and now all the boys with that name are stuck with a girls name.
DeleteIt wasn't when my parents named me that.
DeleteI actually like Kelly as a boy's name, but that's probably because I think Kelly Slater is hot.
I think naming a girl a boy's name can be cute, the same way you can dress a girl in boy's clothing. Tomboys can be sexy, but not so much girly men. I mean, on Scrubs, there was a female doctor named Elliot who was thought of as attractive. Could a male doctor named Susan be a TV heartthrob? Unlikely.
DeleteI just think that kids are so prone to teasing, why give a boy a girl's name and make him an additional target?
Because then you get to write a song called "A Boy Named Sue."
DeleteAMEN Fizzy! I'm on board the train with you. Boys names on girls are a silly trend but one I would tolerate if people would even attempt to follow basic language rules. Had a Rion (Ryan) in clinic the other day who had the ovaries to give me attitude when I went blank at the statement: "Ryan with an O" You're not allowed to get angry when no one can spell your horribly mutilated "name" take it up with your parents who felt the need to be unique
ReplyDeleteOh, I could write a whole other entry about names being misspelled, especially since mine is. My whole life, I had to correct a billion name misspellings... wrong on every diploma, form, etc.
DeleteI'm with you. Trendy names and purposely misspelled names drive me crazy. And for the record, I have met a female Mason, except that it was spelled Maysin.
ReplyDeleteLike I said, it's a trend to turn boys names into girls names, so I'm not at all surprised.
DeleteI've seen a female Masen, and wondered, "How does the e make this a more feminine name?!"
DeleteAs a former reporter, I have encountered those names. Woe betide you if you get them wrong! (But we are SUPPOSED to get them right, so they have a point. It's just that I've never gotten Jennifer Jones wrong, but Gennyfer Joyines, well ...)
ReplyDeleteMy take -- name your kids what you want, but beware. For the record, my two kids have not-so-common but standard names. No trends.
I generally don't blame people when they misspell my name, mainly just feel kind of pissed off at my parents for making it more difficult. That said, if it's someone I know well and they repeatedly misspell it after I correct them more than once, I do get kind of irritated.
DeleteHaving a "normally spelled name is no antidote to having idiots misspell it anyway.
DeleteThat's definitely true. I've seen my daughter's normally spelled name misspelled in pretty impressive ways.
DeleteWow, that first person needs to fall off a bridge. It's just a name, and this is just a blog voicing an opinion. What's his problem?
ReplyDeleteAnyway... We have the craziest spelled names. Certain cultures seems to favour them especially, and we have a lot of patients from those regions...
So Nevaeh is a big name now. Also, Mersaydez - when I saw it spelled that way, I had a mini stroke.
Then there's Ryan for girls, which I really don't get.
And although I haven't met any fruits or vegetables myself, Hollywood's thing with ridiculous names is out of hand. Apple?? What kind of name is apple??
Someone in my class had jokingly said that she should name her kd Chlamydia, but I've a feeling some people take that seriously. Of course, it would have to be spelled Klameedia.
Yeah, I thought the "skinny" post was going to be the controversial one, but apparently names are even more of a sore point.
DeleteIt seems incredibly cruel to name your child Apple. It's bad enough being the child of a celebrity, but then you have to be saddled with a really dumb name too?
I think I have a partial solution to the flaming you occasionally get. I was directed to a blog the other day, written by someone with a real ability to say provocative things. I think I should post the link so the people who need to yell and scream would actually have a person ready to take them on.
DeleteGo for it, Hildy.
DeleteYou know what makes me mad? When I tell people my daughter's name, and they say, "Why on earth did you give your poor daughter a boy's name?" Note that I said nothing to you about the name you picked for your child that I didn't like.
ReplyDeleteSome people have no class.
I think no matter what you think of a kid's name, you should say to the parents that you like it. I've kept a straight face through some pretty stupid names.
DeleteYeah, that I can't support. I fully recognize that my name issue is my own personal mental health problem. If you want to name your child Zxyyaa and pronounce it John, then it's John. As long as they understand that we're not all going to know that your John is spelt with 2 y's then we're good
DeleteMy husband and i have names that could be either boys or girls names..."Chris"and "Tracy".....Same with my nieces baby "Peyton".
ReplyDeleteI think of Tracy as mainly a girls name. Chris could be either.
DeletePersonally, my biggest pet peeve with names is that they should be pronounceable in the place your kids are growing up.
ReplyDeleteSo my cousin, who has a lovely Hebrew name but lives in Los Angeles, is never going to be able to introduce himself without people going "wait, what? How do you say that?" because his name is Gur. I have yet to meet a single non-Israeli who can say his name correctly--they call him "Gor" or "Grr" and the R is never rolled in the way that it's supposed to be anyway.
His brother's name is Roy. Go figure--that one was born in Israel.
Nevaeh. Nevaeh Nevaeh Nevaeh. I swear, I am at the point where when I meet a girl named Heaven I ask her parents if that's "Nevaeh" backwards.
ReplyDelete-Dr. Alice
How is Nevaeh pronounced?
DeleteNah-vay-ah.
DeleteBless you OMG for not knowing that.
-Dr. Alice
I've seen worse than Nevaeh.
DeleteZevaeh. Letter N has made a 90 degree counterclockwise turn. Gag.
Amen. My stupidity test for names is always..."Please welcome our new CEO...Britney Lastname". It doesn't work.
ReplyDeleteOverly "cute" or masculine names just mean that you have issues you are projecting (echoes of psych rotation?) . Don't name your kid "Kodee" or "Duke" and expect me not to cringe at that poor kid's cross to bear. You want your kid to be "cute" or "unique", give them language or ballet lessons, something they won't be branded with their entire life.
Talking to you, Frank Zappa. Dweezil? Moon Unit?
Then again, as of yesterday I've now seen more than one 11-year-old with some stupid f---ing Twilight tattoo their mother "suggested" / made them get, so maybe there's no limit.
I say this all the time, I'm licensed by the state to do horrible things to people in order to save their lives, why can't I hit them with something to save their (or their kid's) dignity later on?
"Are you the mother of young Precious* here, for this Team Edward tattoo apparently done with unclean needles? Yes? OK, stand right there...Nurse, can you get me the, oh I see you have it ready, great, thanks. Now this will only take a second and it will sting a bit." WHACK! WHACK WHACK WHACK!!
Now back to your poor daughter's blood tests.
*we had a rash of patients named this a few months ago.
My daughter has a *somewhat* cute name and I was actually a little worried about it. But a really smart female mathematician I know has her name and all the other women I know with that name are very down to earth, so I figured it was okay.
DeleteI once met an intelligent woman named Cimberly, but pronounced Kimberly. She was training me for a new job and I got to spend 4 straight hours wondering how could an intelligent woman bear such a dumb name. Clearly her parents had given her that name, but when she turned legal age she should have changed it to Kimberly. That's what I would have done.
ReplyDeletei'm a peds resident, and that is the best part of my job. especially in the nicu.
ReplyDeletethere are a TON of girl masons. that ship has sailed.
I knew it!!
DeleteI had a patient named Candida. Just no.
ReplyDeleteI think I hate celebrity names the most. "Apple' and "Blue Lagoon' or whatever Beyonce named her kid. Most normal people don't name their kids anything that atrocious, so a lot of things slide w me otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI knew a girl that named her boy "Ocean".
ReplyDeleteI hate "creative" spellings of common names:
ReplyDeleteMadisyn, Mazen/Masyn, Aleeshah, Jaxon/jaxin/Jaksyn etc.
I dont like trendy names but they dont offend me the way non-names and creative spellings do
A lot of the names make me facepalm, but one makes me just want to sputter. I saw a rash of girl infants named Tirani (various spellings), all pronounced "tyranny." I want to ask the parents if they know what that word means...
ReplyDeleteThe worst name I've ever heard is Melena.
ReplyDeleteIt was the mid-80s and I'd just started reading the Fletch series, by Gregory McDonald. [The first one was made into a hideous movie starring Chevy Chase.] I was telling a friend about them, and laughing at various things, and pointed out that the main character prefers being called Fletch because his real name is so hideous -- Irwin Maurice Fletcher.
ReplyDeleteFriend turns to me and says, "My father's name is Irwin."
Ooops.
Related: My birth first name is not one common to my generation but more to my grandmothers' generation. [Unsurprisingly, I was named for one of 'em.] So it's not common that meet other people my age (or younger) with the name.
I was once at a Dr's office and the receptionist said, "$FIRST-NAME, would you please come fill out this form" and two people got up. The other $FIRST-NAME was at most 20 yrs older than me. Once we sorted out which $FIRST-NAME was which, the other person and I struck up a conversation. The really amusing part (to me, at least (-:) is that this person was a relatively famous person in the city, and I was so dense I didn't realize it until about 4 hours later.
OK, those are all my irrelevant tales for the evening. :)
Fizzy, I am guessing you are off work today :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think of Peaches Geldoff ?
There is something called a *Chav* in the UK and it is roughly equivalent to White trash in the UK. They have perfected the art of trashy baby names such as: Chardonnay, Mercedes !
Here is a direct quote from mumsnet:
[my friends daughter recently represented some one who had called their daughter chlamydia because they thought it sounded like a nice name !!! ]
Old MD G is your name Kelly ?
no
DeleteI am a paediatrician so I've seen it all.... my all-time favourite is A-a.................... 'Adasha'. Go figure. Chav's in UK, white trash in US and Bogans in Australia
ReplyDeleteFor the 6 years of child-free living that my wife and I had we planned on our first son being Mason b/c it had family ties. When our first baby was born this January...we named him Mason.
ReplyDeleteWhen I heard of 5 billion other babies being named Mason this year and it being called one of the most popular names I decided the universe hated me.
I asked if I could change his name, my wife wasn't a fan of the idea.
Yeah, a friend of mine picked out Emma as her absolute favorite name before realizing how popular it was, but still decided to go with it.
DeleteMy brother's name was one I had never even *heard* of when my parents said they were naming him that. Then the year he was born, the name underwent an unprecedented spike in popularity. Go figure.
we are in the process of choosing a name for our soon to be born child. It is a PITA lol.
ReplyDeleteI want a strong, professional (preppy?) sounding name that will be good as an adult but not seem overwhelming for a child. I do not like cutsey names or made up spellings. It is EMILY. Not EMMALEIGH - get over yourself.
Boys names are even harder. Everyone thinks they are being so clever in their naming choices and I just cannot believe what some parents choose.
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ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfIehCrO4Zs - all of these names are real. I've met many girls with these names/spellings. Utah people are awful at naming their children normal names.
ReplyDeleteI work in the pharmacy. Whenever I see a creative name for a child, I automatically guess welfare recipient. I am right 99.8% of the time. There are creative/stupid names for privately insured too, but most of the time, the insurance is state public aid. I always think if it's that easy for me to make that assumption, how will these children ever get a respectable employment in the future???
ReplyDeleteTrendeigh naymes are a trajidi
ReplyDeleteWin. (Wynne)
DeleteAnother name I have come across is "Latrine", I guess the mother thought it an alternative to something like Laqueesha.
ReplyDeleteIn this particular example, I blame the US education system for someone who is judged responsible enough to be entrusted with the care of a child (in an English speaking country) not knowing the meaning of the word latrine.
You cant call me racist (I share a similar skin hue to the offending mother)
"wait, you changed your name to Latrine??"
Delete"Yeah, it was originally Shithouse."
Mel Brooks reminds us that no matter how bad a name may seem at the time it may be infinitely better than the alternative.
In related news, I hate it when people insist my name is spelt differently. Nope, ending it with "an" is the masculine form, not the feminine. Yes, I am sure. Please take my word on this - I've only had my name for 29 years.
Pediatrician friends have shared with me quite a list of names from the new baby roster that will certainly be hard to grow up with. A few that stuck out: La-A (pronounced la-DASH-a); lil'Mista, and our winner, Ja'Nigga.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Ja'Ni**a can be a star in a future remake of Django.
DeleteWorking in a pharmacy gives you lots of creative ideas for names. Especially harmonious-sounding are the HIV meds. I think if I have a daughter, I'll call her Kaletra.
ReplyDeleteWhen my brother was in grade school, there was a phone list for all the kids and their families to coordinate class snacks and for snow delay notifications, etc. It represented the families of maybe 24 students. Besides repeats of the kids names, we also discovered that three of the moms were named Kathy Brown. Identifying the correct person eventually involved a geneology recitation or more (Kathy Brown, mother of..., wife of..., the one in the yellow house on Main St).
ReplyDeleteYes, unique names can be awful and weird and burdensome. But if your name is too common, it no longer serves as a unique identifier and becomes useless. Is it worse to be known as "Mason" or "Mason's mom"?
Just thought of a couple more I've seen:
ReplyDeletePrecious
Blessing
Diesel (I kinda like that one - certainly better than Dweezel and Moonshine or whatever those names were)
Gopu (Indian... But I'm immature so I find it funny)
Thunder cloud
I don't recall any other backwards spelled names besides Nevaeh. We didn't clue in at first (and, actually, not until a year later from a separate source) and we all pronounced it in all sorts of weird ways.
The first two were super sick at birth, so the names make sense. But imposing a mother's feelings upon a child who has to live with these names may be a different issue.
Posting anonymously because this grouping of names is probably quite regional.
LOL, I knew a family growing up that named their kids Patience, Precious, Charity and...Joshua... the boy got off easy.
DeleteMy good friend has a daughter who is now 7 who is Nehve, like Nehve Campbell, and its super cute on her!
Since someone else may also be reading this several years after the fact I will chime in with our story.
ReplyDeleteI am Jaci (pronounced Jay-see). Not J.C.- just like Tracy with a J. My mother chose the name because she liked Jacinda, and Jaci is short for that. Nightmare of my life. Nobody can say it (No, not Jackie), nobody can spell it, and after 33 years I've just stopped correcting people if I won't be in contact with them on a regular basis. That said, While I did not want "run of the mill" names for my kids, I definitely wanted something that wouldn't embarrass them in school, nor be so "cute" as to ruin them as adults. I wanted names that could be spelled and pronounced without to much difficulty;
Kid #1- McKenna... the year she was born there were NO McKenna's... I checked and it was like 5 kids in the country. that later exploded.
Kid #2- Kaydence aka "Kaydie" (ok, changing the spelling was sorta trendy, but it looked prettier)
Kid #3- Jameson aka "Jake"
In my Peds ER days we had some of the WORST names you could imagine. ExStacy (can she grow up as anything other than a stripper?)
Karosell (Carousel... really??)
Areola (Non-english speaking parents thought it was just a pretty word)
Diarrhea (See above)
Alecksandre (Alex-Andre)
The list goes on. It's a pet peeve of mine as well Fizzy, so I hear ya