Saturday, December 22, 2012

Weekly Whine: Defriending

In the modern world, it seems like de-friending people on Facebook, Twitter, or whatever is really common. People will agonize over why so and so dropped them as a friend. Did I do something wrong? Were the ten billion photos of my newborn child one too many?

Probably, yes.

I'm on Facebook, but I've never dropped anyone as a friend. Partially because I don't know how. But also, I'm pretty sure that on any social media site, I can block things I don't want to read. In all honesty, there were a few people on my friends list who went a little overboard with the babies updates and I just couldn't take it anymore and so removed them from my feed. It was easy and they never knew!

I say we end this random "defriending" of people. It's fine if you defriend someone who's a stalker or doing something really reprehensible, but if you have to think about it, I say don't defriend. Why hurt someone's feelings?

13 comments:

  1. Ooops! Guilty! I have defriended some of my old friends because they have turned my newsfeed into a battlefield, like it's WWI all over again. For some reason blocking is ALWAYS the first thing I do, and I reserve the hide button just exclusively for families😄Baby picture overload I could take. But a daily dose of drama? No, thank you.

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    1. I never get drama on Facebook because all I post is a biannual photo of my kids, so maybe I simply don't understand how awful people can be. But as I understand it, can't you just make certain posts private?

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    2. Yes, you can. I used to be a huge fan of Facebook. It used to be a lot simpler and much easier to use but now it turned into a porn site and an adversiting website. Too much junk on there. If it weren't for my son's unltrasound videos I would have deleted my account already. But I have only uploaded the videos pn Facebook and forgot to save it on my computer or a disc. And what is up with all these game requests? No, I do not want to play! I have a life. Thank you!

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  2. I defriended a bunch of people who I hadn't seen in 20 years and didn't think I'd recognize (much less say hi to) if I saw them in real life. They were random high school classmates and the like. I usually just hide the news feeds that annoy me. I figure if someone objects to my one baby picture per month (or so) that I post, then they can go right ahead and hide me too.

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    1. Yeah, I do the same. I only keep the ones that I talk to or see on a regular basis. And those people who want to add you as a friend but won't even bother to say hi, let alone look in your direction, when you see them on the street?..DECLINE! And no, I wouldn't add you the next time you send me another request, either.

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    2. Yes what is with adding people as friends on facebook but ignoring them in real life? Or adding people on facebook but limiting what they can see of your profile? I completely agree with you!

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    3. Yeah I also defriended a lot of people I haven't talked to since I graduated high school/undergrad. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If I don't talk to you on a semi-regular basis, I find no reason why you should be upset/offended that I removed you from my friend list.

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  3. I've just waged the bloody Great De-friending War of 2012 on my Facebook account. I was at 230+ friends and I'm currently at 90. I've had 3 people re-friend me (I accepted) and I've only dealt with 1 person who freaked about it (not re-friended.) I had disactivated my Facebook account because it was just too much ridiculous crap for me to deal with, and when I went back I decided that I would make it my own little happy place. It may be harsh to de-friend (and I felt guilty about it at first) but it felt fake to me to just hide people that bugged me. I do have a few people hidden though, but I'd much rather just get rid of them. On a related note, I'm pregnant and really, really crabby, so that might have something to do with it.

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  4. I just deleted my page because I realized I don't talk to those people anymore. yes I did when I was in college but not anymore. I see them on the streets and we actually avoid eye contact. The other people are from my church, and we don't even talk to each other. They are on my blocked list but still.....

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  5. I meant they're on my "hide" privavcy list so hey they don't see anything anyway. But I figured why add people who I don't even talk to, or have them on my page just for the sake of taking up space. Sorry I am decluttering my life and I don't need negative people or just random people taking up space in it right now. I have way too much on my plate already, and a bunch of phony people and friends are overflowing my plate right now.

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  6. @Asim Ahmed-- You're on the wrong site, choo!

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  7. I deleted my account in February 2008 !
    I was one of the early adopters and even then it was getting creepy. I cant imagine what it must be like now - I even feel guilty for those I introduced to Facebook, one of whom reminds me of this.

    Old MD G - would you consider allowing anonymous comments on your *new* blog?

    Dr Kay, I found your comment about not talking to people you go to church with quite funny - multilayered irony ( I am a Christian myself)

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    1. Sorry no anonymous comments on the new blog either. I didn't get that many vitriolic comments, but it really upset me when I did, so I decided to remove that bit of unnecessary drama from my life.

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