If you don't want to piss me off, don't say to me, "I love my job!"
Maybe it's just that I know too many people in medicine, but it seems like only people in medicine seem to say this. Notably, I remember on one OB call in med school, the intern was running around like a crazy person all night delivering babies, definitely getting zero sleep, and at one point she said completely earnestly and to my complete befuddlement, "I love my job!"
(My private response: "Is that why you act like a bitch all the time?")
Most people don't really love their jobs. That's why it's called a job. You might like it. You might love some aspects of a job. But I feel like "love" is an emotion that should be reserved for people, not a place where you are obligated to go 5+ days a week.
There were times in the past when I said I loved my residency. But I didn't really. I mostly felt peer-pressured by all those job-loving liars out there. Plus it was so much less awful than my internship, it didn't feel like a total lie to say I loved it. Comparatively, I loved it because I didn't hate it with every fiber of my being.
So yes, I suspect a lot of the time when people say they love their jobs (or med school or residency), it's disingenuous. Either they're trying to convince themselves or they're trying to feel superior to other people who hate their jobs. But even if that's not the case, it's still an obnoxious thing to say, considering most people don't love their jobs. It would be like saying how much you love being a mother in a room full of infertile women. Or me blogging about how much I love being skinny, which I know would really piss off one or two of you in particular.
And if you still insist that you love your job... well, maybe you and your job should get a room.
I love doing what I do, and it's the reason I chose medicine. I cannot imagine waking up every day for 40 years and go do something I don't like doing. Even if you love something it has it's ups and downs.
ReplyDeleteI say (to myself) that I love my job when I am in danger of hating it. When I need a little push from myself to get the whole thing back in order. When the pleasant feeling of satisfaction that I get on the smooth days is at risk with a totally hectic day that I don't know if I can handle. It keeps me trying on those days. It is almost sarcasm, but not quite.
ReplyDeleteI think it's okay to say it to yourself. I do that sometimes. But I certainly don't run around announcing it.
DeleteWhat's wrong with saying you love your job? Even if it's to convince yourself, or because you really like it, but not actually love it? People say they love all kinds of stuff ALL the time that is not people! ex. I love biology, I love purses, etc.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather be the person who enjoys or tries to enjoy what they're doing, instead of the person who is always depressed, whiny and hating every moment of their life. But, ultimately, you can't enjoy stuff you absolutely hate. But I'm guessing you don't absolutely hate your job.
Well, like I said in the post, what would be wrong with me announcing on this blog that I love being skinny? Would that bother anyone?
DeleteI feel like it just makes other people feel bad. Because most people don't truly love their jobs. But you're allowed to enjoy it and think to yourself that you love it, just not rub in everyone's faces, that's all.
It doesn't bother me if you announce you love being skinny. What bothers me is that you consistently say you aren't obsessed with your weight, yet you mention it more often than is 'normal'. Just doesn't seem healthy to have it on your mind so often than it makes it into your posts so frequently. I sincerely hope this focus on body image isn't picked up by your child/children.
DeleteReally? When is the last time I mentioned it aside from in this post as a joke about how people overreacted to me mentioning it?
DeleteIt doesn't bother me at all if you say you're skinny/fat, etc because all women are obsessed with their weight even if you don't think you are. You either think you're very skinny, not skinny enough, too fat, obese, etc, but you're probably better off than you think.
DeleteI agree. Running around and announcing it is annoying to other people and not good in general, but you could still love your job and be happy inside. Just because it's a "job" doesn't mean you have to hate it or not love it. Jobs are a luxury in this economy and ANY job, even the worst of them all is allowing you to have money and pay for essentials, so ANY job is something to be happy about.
-Same anon from 11:35 am
I only bring up the weight thing because I wrote a post a while back about how I lost some weight and it screwed up my internal temperature so that I'm always cold, and I got several really angry responses about how I was glorifying weight loss (even though I was actually complaining about it). So since then, I've used weight occasionally as an example of something that other people are clearly really, really sensitive about. If people hadn't gotten so upset about it, I probably would never have mentioned it again. I don't even own a scale.
DeleteLiking your job, like you said, is fine. It's going around declaring that you love it that bugs me. But you seem to get it.
Dr. Fizzy (from 12:38), just if you're curious about the number of times you've mentioned your weight, I found mentions on Dec 15 (this article), Nov 13, July 14, Sep 8, Jan 30, June 27, and Nov 25. In case anyone ever asks again...Most of them were just asides, as today's was.
DeleteJasmine
Thanks for doing the math. So since I have 928 posts total, that means that I have mentioned my weight even just as a brief aside in 0.7% of my posts. That is probably well below average for a female blogger.
DeleteI completely agree, although as a med student what I hear more often is "I looove studying!" No. Shut up. NO ONE loves to study. In fact, no one loves school, or 99% of people wouldn't bitch about it all the time. I mean there are definitely enough days when it's way awesome & "This is why I love this gig.." or "I'm so lucky to get to be here" cross my mind, but there are also plenty of days when it sucks & I'm tired & I just want to be done. So when I hear people talk about how much they love studying (especially now, right before finals), it just makes me hate them a little bit.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's the same principle. Anyone who says they love studying right before an exam (or ever) deserves to be slapped.
DeleteI used to think that way, but why stick to your stubborn mentality that just because someone says they love studying right before finals or exams they must be crazy?
DeleteYou're already giving yourself a negative state of mind.
If someone wants to say "I love this subject and I love studying" before exams, then power to them for having that positive mentality to keep going.
If you're going to study for exams, you might as well have fun and enjoy it!
Studying is not like being tortured and burned at the stake. It's not like eating ice cream, but it can be enjoyed, even before finals/exams.
Just goes to show your minds are weak...
Studying for med school exams can be pretty terrible. In my school, we had a high failure rate, and sometimes a single exam could make the difference between whether you had to repeat the entire year. If there was a student who was in that position and I got in their face the night before a big exam, saying, "I love studying!" then I would totally deserve to be slapped.
DeleteHaving a positive mentality is great, nothing wrong with that. But why announce it to the world when it's an opinion that makes many feel bad about themselves? You hopefully wouldn't say to a person whose marriage was struggling, "I love being married! It's so wonderful!"
I must admit that if people ask me how I am finding med school, I respond that I love it. I really do love it though. I'm a mature age student, having made the swap from nursing. I think because I was getting the point where I was quite unhappy with nursing, and I worked so hard to get in to med (as does everyone), I really do love it. Maybe I should tone it down a little in future when asked how I'm finding med school? I can see how that would be irritating.
ReplyDeleteI can foresee a point where I won't love working as a doctor. I worked a nursing shift last night and watched an intern struggle with some of the things that are problems in nursing also; demanding families of patients who aren't very sick, silly requests in an acute care setting ("can you look at my itchy little toe and this little spot that I have had for ten years but keep forgetting to get looked at"), and having to sort out patients who have absolutely no plan from the day team despite being quite unwell - all while someone is trying to die on you.
Loving your mother or father doesn't mean you love ALL aspects of them. Yet, people still say that. Why? Because love is an emotion that is brought out by reminders of how that person/object/occupation makes you feel. In fact, I can completely imagine and understand the OB saying that - because each time she sees a birth or saves a post-partum haemorrhage from reaching catastrophic consequences, she realises *this* is the emotion she has been waiting for in medicine. And why does she *not* have a right to express it? It seems really odd that 'oh.. liking is OK, but loving? er, no, go away'. Just because you may not describe that feeling of satisfaction as love - why are you denying others the right to say it? Is that how easily you get annoyed? Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteWell, it's not keeping me awake at night or anything.
DeleteAs I said in my post, "I feel like 'love' is an emotion that should be reserved for people, not a place where you are obligated to go 5+ days a week."
I also think you have to be sensitive to your audience, at least if you're a decent person. If you were around a person who you knew was having problems getting along with their mother, would you randomly say, "I love my mother"? A huge number of people don't like their jobs very much, so I think just blindly saying, "I love my job," is equally insensitive.
And if that intern really did "love" her job, I'd be terrified to see how unpleasant she'd be in a job she hated.
I only know about health care, and I daresay a huge number of docs across the pond over here like their jobs very much, so I don't really know how it would in, say, a corporate banking environment or something.
DeleteBut you're right in that you have to be sensitive to your audience. One of my good friends' mother passed away a few months ago and I try my hardest not to unnecessarily mention my own mother, because I don't want to cause him pain. Having said that, if, for example (and I have been in this situation before), I was having problems with my boyfriend, I would never even think about getting annoyed/hurt/upset at someone who says they are loving their relationship with their boyfriend. You know? That's why I asked if that was your threshold of annoyance. (Because if so, my threshold levels are way, way different to yours. That doesn't mean to say there is something wrong with either, by the way. I don't want you to feel I am personally attacking you!) You just came across as a really laid-back, not-really-bothered person to me, is all. Nothing wrong with either way. :)
Also, there is a difference between *arrogantly* saying they love their jobs (which obviously holds no water whatsoever with me), and people who genuinely want to express what to THEM is love, you know?
A lot of people do enjoy being in medicine, but there are also a huge number of doctors who are incredibly burned out, disgruntled with many aspects medicine, and feel like they have no way out due to loans. A lot of docs I know talk about quitting. And just in general, a LOT Of people in all fields don't like their jobs that much. So if you're going on and on in a blog about "gosh I love being a doctor", it's probably a slap in the face to a good number of people.
DeleteThere's nothing wrong with personally enjoying what you do, I just think people should be more sensitive to the fact that probably for the vast majority of people, work is just that: work.
Do you not think that you're perhaps being a bit too sensitive? While I agree it's obnoxious for someone to prance around gloating about how wonderful their job is all the time, why shouldn't someone who genuinely loves their job admit to it? It's a good reminder to everyone else that it is possible to love one's job and that hating one's job (which takes up far more of one's waking hours than anything else) isn't a good or even normal thing. As well, talking to physicians who do/don't love their jobs helped me figure out which areas of medicine would/would not be good to go into; something that will hopefully make me a happier person as I go forward in my career.
ReplyDeleteI might even say I love my job someday.
If an attending wants to tell his little med students that he loves his job, then I suppose that might inspire them and in that sense, it's okay.
DeleteBut as I said, the majority of people *don't* love their job. And just because you hear someone else say they love their job, it's not like you're going to say, "Well, I may be 45 and supporting three children, but I'm going to up and quit and start over again so I can find something I really love!" No, that person is just going to get depressed and probably dislike the person saying they love your job. So in that sense, it's a pretty insensitive thing to say.
While I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you love your job, I can see how it might be irritating to listen to sometimes. Kind of like the always-happy-polyanna types can be irritating too. And yes, I know that some people find cynicism or any negativity irritating as well. What makes the annoyingly pert people "right" and the cynical people "wrong?"
ReplyDeleteThere was a woman at my old job who used to dance around saying how much she "LOVED" cleaning the warehouse (which we had to do because sales were down and they felt like they needed to keep us busy). She was stupid and irritating in many other ways as well, but I especially hated her when she did that because it seemed like she was trying to brown nose her bosses who HAD to know we all hated getting on our hands and knees to scrub under the conveyors.
I don't think that's me being "hyper-sensitive." Sometimes these people are totally annoying!
I used to work with an NP who really hated what she did, and would complain incessantly. That wasn't endearing either. I actually really hated working with her because of her constantly complaining and would try to avoid her if possible.
DeleteSo I guess, like you said, either extreme is bad.
I can say that I like my job, but I definitely don't love it. I've worked hard to be where I am. I don't bound out of bed in the morning ecstatic to go to work, but it provides a good living and there are much, MUCH worse places that I could be working. That being said, it doesn't faze me at all when someone says, "I love my job" (if they're being genuine and not intentionally irritating, of course.) I honestly think it's pretty childish to get all grumpy-pants when someone expresses genuine enjoyment about their choice of job. That's as good as saying "I'M not happy, so YOU sure as hell don't deserve to be, either!"
ReplyDeleteI don't think that means you don't want anyone else to be happy, simply that it's obnoxious to rub that happiness in everyone else's nose.
DeleteFor example, it's equally obnoxious to declare that your 2 week only baby is sleeping like an angel through the whole night to a bunch of exhausted new parents.
You are definitely one of those kids that ONLY became a doctor because of a parent or grandparent and now you're finally realizing you made the biggest mistake of your life and consistently bitch about it all the time.
ReplyDeleteWe get it, you dislike your job, you don't like working weekends and you wish you didn't have the loans to pay but dear, you have a full functioning brain.
It's almost impossible for me to believe that when entering med school it was COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE for you to COMPREHEND that why, yes! You could possibly become a mother and gosh! You WOULD have to get up early on Saturday or Sunday morning and WORK.
You are so pessimistic and narrow minded and dare I say it you have a horrible sense of entitlement and arrogance about you that just makes me feel that if I was your OB resident I'd be the biggest bitch to you too.
I still read your blog because it gives me and my coworkers a good laugh every morning, please keep these seemingly stupid and unbelievable posts coming.
If you're like this NOW I can imagine how you'll be age 70.
(NOT that Fizzy needs defending...) but ouch! Also, people can learn and grow from the input others give. Sometimes I think it would do Fizzy good to not *defend* herself all the time but instead understand why people disagree with her and take their opinions on board, too. Learning doesn't stop post-residency. :)
Delete(A different anon)
I find Fizzy's posts funny too and get a daily laugh as well. I'm confused though. Isn't this a humor blog? Doesn't she intend for us to laugh?
DeleteWe need more cartoons! The written posts just make me shake my head in frustration sometimes! E.g. that parents of young kids should get priority during holiday time. WTF? It's not even the fact that she has very close-minded opinions (although, that too), but the fact that she just won't acknowledge her knowledge base, experiences and raw data is limited and other people are excellent sources of learning and growing, too. I've not really seen her ever be like 'Oh... you have an interesting point, maybe I need to re-think my ideas' (or maybe I'm just missing it). Sigh.
DeleteI agree with one of the above posters...it's the defensiveness that makes me not really want to 'listen' to what she's saying.
DeleteIt's frustrating when you guys say these things when you don't read the comments or even the post. From my Wednesday post:
Delete"...maybe all of you are right. Maybe she shouldn't have priority."
How could I concede the uncertainty of my point any more clearly?
And if you look at the comments, a childless ER Doc complimented me on our interesting back and forth.
I'm happy to have a civilized discussion on any topic. Just please be an adult about it without namecalling such as the person who started this thread. I'm not going to converse with trolls.
You know fizzy, I do have to apoligize for the post that started this thread. I had just read the post and I was just so frustrated by it, it was ridicoulous but now I see I didn't mean what I said and frankly, I feel quite guilty about it. I am willing to acknowlege it was rude, childish, and in ill taste to name a few. I apoligize whole heartily. This is your life that you are willing to share with us and I respect that but seriously, as you obviously already know and as I have just said, my earlier comment does not define you in anyway at all (I'm sure that OB resident was just a huge bitch in general ;) )
DeleteWe can learn together, right?
Wow, I really appreciate your apology. That is really big of you. Thank you.
DeleteFizzy was somewhat immature in her response to me when I shared I did not play computer games growing up. I guess others see a pattern also.
DeleteNobody wrote that I was immature. Again, it's frustrating when people reply without reading.
DeleteMy post was about how computer games help develop visuospatial skills which can be helpful in certain medical specialties. Your response was that you couldn't think of one way that playing computer games could possibly help anyone. How was I supposed to respond to that? (Answer: Not at all.)
As a medical student, I do love school. Does it make me tired and grumpy and stressed out beyond belief? Hell yeah. Do I still love what I'm doing and feel grateful every day I picked this road and was able to get into a good school? Halfway through and I can still say HELL YEAH!
ReplyDeleteI loved my job when I was a CNA wiping up poop every day, too. I still miss it sometimes (although happy about a future in medicine on the horizon with less poop cleaning involved). It's definitely not impossible to love what you do.
I can honestly say i hate med school. I guess i am in the minority here.
ReplyDeleteWhat year are you in? If you truly hate it (not just frustrated with a few tough units) it might be better to get out now. 7-10 of the best years of your life and a 1/4 million in debt is too much to spend on a job you hate.
DeletePB, MSIV
Med school is crap and anyone who says otherwise needs to get off the pills. However, most (myself included) are willing to accept the bucket of institutionalized crap that is known as med school in order to achieve their goals.
DeleteThird year and i don't think i am just frustrated. However, I intend to graduate. It doesn't make sense not to, as i still would like to be a doctor.
DeleteJust be really careful when you pick a residency that you don't end up in the same situation.
DeleteInterviewer: Why do you want to go to med school?
ReplyDeleteMe: because I have to in order to become a doctor
Interviewer: Are there any other reasons?
Me: Nope and me saying otherwise would be a bold face lie. If I could become a good doctor without I'd probably opt to skip it all. It is probably going to be 4 years of hell, but I'm up for a challenge.
Interviewer: Oh...really?
Me: Well...yes.
Interviewer: Well, I guess that answers all my questions. What else do you want to talk about?
Result of application: accepted. Interviewer said the lack of BS in my interview was refreshing.
If someone really loved their job, it would be annoying for them to prance around announcing it to everyone, especially if the audience were people who were exhausted/burned out/hated their job.
ReplyDeleteBut if that person is asked (doesn't "show off") how they like their job, I don't think that person should lie just for the audience.
I think that's fair.
Delete"Find a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life"
ReplyDeleteO, Hells, I hate that stupid phrase.