I've noticed that sometimes in the comments on this blog, people have called me "passive-aggressive" a few times. It's not that I'm never passive-aggressive, because sometimes I am, but I can't say that one time I've been called that, it's been appropriate. So maybe people don't know what it means?
According to Wikipedia, "passive-aggressive behavior is a category of interpersonal interactions characterised by an obstructionist or hostile manner that indicates aggression, or, in more general terms, expressing aggression in non-assertive, subtle (that is, passive or indirect) ways." Say wha? That definition is a little confusing, but it's a term my father used to use a lot (correctly), so I know it when I see it.
For example, say 13 year old Fizzy was told to take out the trash by her dad. 13 year old Fizzy doesn't like taking out the trash. So she puts it off as long as she possibly can, has to be told three times, each time replying, "All right! I'll do it!" Then when she finally does it, she allows some excess garbage to spill on the floor of the kitchen. And then when she's dramatically dragging the garbage out to the bin, her father says, "Fizzy, quit being so passive-aggressive."
Other examples include conveniently "forgetting" things I didn't want to do, sulking excessively, and making excuses for things I didn't want to do.
Things that are not passive-aggressive:
My post about "DO discrimination." I was trying to explain about why people discriminate against DO's and I was accused of being passive-aggressive. Because....? I'm not a DO, I like DO's, I was just trying to make an informative post. How in any way, shape or form was that passive-aggressive?
In a recent post about internship, I talked about how I didn't like when I was asked to come in on my day off for orientation, and I was accused of being passive-aggressive. So any time you are upset about something, you are passive-aggressive? In order to be passive-aggressive, I'd have to come in and do my job shittily and act like a bitch to everyone there.
I think people need to learn what that term means, seriously. Because I'm getting sick of explaining it.
A Cartoon Guide to the English Language.
ReplyDeleteAre you being passive-aggressive?
DeleteWell, technically you were passive aggressive when you were asked to come in on your day off when you completed your training as slowly as possible the following day, and missed time on your shift as a result.
ReplyDeleteYeah, she explained that after I wrote this post. Although I mostly said that I did that as a punch line because the director told us that was what everyone did.
DeleteYou shine again OMDG. Fizzy, after your last weekly whine you are completely redeemed in my eyes. I felt so sorry for you (in a good way). Please know that we love you. Thank you for letting us critisize your posts (not you).
ReplyDelete"I felt so sorry for you (in a good way)"
DeleteReally? Why?
Because (in "Flirt")you completely did not deserve it. I was trying to imagine how I would feel in your shoes. They both were wrong. You redeemed yourself b/c you carried on with dignity in your story.
DeleteHonestly... keep writing acerbic witty posts like this I will always keep coming back.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, I always thought that "passive-aggressive" was a synonym for "ICU nurse". (possibly joking...)
"Because I'm getting sick of explaining it. "
ReplyDeleteAre you being passive aggressive?
JG roflol
ReplyDeleteI think in your post about "DO Discrimination" some people thought you were being passive-aggressive because they thought you were disingenuous when you said you 'liked DOs'. By saying you like DOs you could then go on to describe the negative aspects and disadvantages that DOs may face without being characterized as someone who looks down on DOs. Most of what you wrote in that post was true but I don't think that there's 'rampant' discrimination by residency progams in the majority of specialties(least of all in Peds, Family Practice, Psychiatry, Internal Medicine, and especially PM&R where DOs are routinely accepted at the top programs like NYU).
ReplyDeleteFor the record I don't think you were being passive-aggressive and that you were honest in what you wrote. Some people just automatically decide that the mere mention of any disadvantages/negativity means you dislike DO/are rude/are condescending.