As part of my mental status exam, I always ask patients if they know who the President is. At least 90% of the time, the patient feels compelled to make a comment about it. Like, "Unfortunately, Obama." A few of them hate him so much that they refuse to say his name.
I don't need to know your political affiliation, really. Just tell me the name of the President.
I interviewed a patient yesterday who launched into a segue about how she voted for Obama but her husband didn't. That he's a staunch Republican and she's a staunch Democrat.
I didn't ask her, but I couldn't help but wonder how that works. Can you really be married to a person whose political views are so diametrically opposite to your own?
I'm sure it helps to keep things spicy.
ReplyDeleteI took that question out of my exam maybe 10 years ago, just for that reason.
ReplyDeleteBut I feel like you can't ask a less controversial current events question than the name of the current President.
DeleteThat was probably true, until the current president was elected.
DeleteReally? People got just as pissed of over Dubya.
DeleteAsk the name of the vice president?
ReplyDeleteActually no because some people who are perfectly mentally aware may not know the answer, and that is very depressing to think about.
I am married to my political opposite. We joke that we cancel each other out.
ReplyDeleteDon't his views frustrate you though? I would go nuts.
DeleteSure they do. For the most part we don't discuss politics and when we do we tread lightly. And like I said, come election time we laugh that we are canceling each other out.
DeleteLiberal political commentator James Carville is married to Republican political consultant Mary Matalin. Carville is perhaps a little better known than Matalin, but the two are still pretty big names in politics and still somehow make their marriage work.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine doing it if you were both pretty far either way, but if you are both pretty moderate and just barely on the other side I think it would work pretty well. I'm pretty moderate and would actually rather be with a moderate on the other side than date someone radical on my side
ReplyDeleteI agree... radicals are really annoying. I dated this ultra-liberal guy in college and it was uber obnoxious.
DeleteWhy is it so surprising? Any normal and rational person should respect another's opinions/beliefs unless they are completely ridiculous and baseless. People seem to confuse debating with arguing too often. Just because you don't agree with someone's opinion doesn't mean they're an idiot. If someone has a good reason for their opinion, one should be able to understand it even if they don't feel the same way. I suppose there are certain exceptions such as abortion.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I wouldn't want to be married to someone who agrees with everything I say or think. That would make life boring since it's good to hear different views on things.
Sometimes I'll even argue an opinion I completely disagree with just to make things interesting.
I think people tend to be especially passionate over politics though. And even intelligent people can get dirty... look at Washington. My husband and his brother still get in screaming fights over it. I'm actually very careful to avoid talking politics with people I know irl who have different views than me.
DeletePassion over politics is one thing, but it also has to do with how different the world views tend to be. Stereotypes can only go so far, but they're fairly accurate here in that you'll often find the same "liberals" fighting with the same "conservatives" across many different topics. It's one thing to politely respect someone else's opinion and to tread lightly around certain topics, but to be married to someone where you had to do that? It just seems like you would be treading lightly an awful lot, and that any small bit of news or small event would be dreaded for its potential to further expose those differences.
DeleteMy wife and I agree on almost anything. I assure you, it is not boring. If you want to find someone to disagree with, just take a walk outside and unless you're living in a rural setting, I guarantee you'll find plenty. Actually, that's old-fashioned: just hope on an internet message forum, post your thoughts, and as long as you're not among like-minded people you will be disagreed with and even attacked. I don't mind conflict and, like you, occasionally argue a point that I don't even agree with. I just like to keep my safe zone safe, and like to know that my wife and I have each others' backs in practically every way possible.
Yeah, I agree, you can have an interesting political discussion even if you have similar viewpoints. And you don't have to worry about it turning ugly. My husband can't wait to tell me when a conservative politician makes another dumb statement about rape, and we can enjoy laughing at the Daily Show together.
DeleteI just think it just depends on the personality type. My boyfriend definitely has strong political opinions, but he doesn't feel the need to bring them up or prove that he's in the correct camp all the time. My dad, though, just yells out controversial stuff with no provocation. I think that's the difference.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I oppose each other politically. While our views are not drastically different day-to-day, we are different enough that we vote almost totally opposite of each other. Normally, it's not an issue, but this past Presidential election season, we were barely on speaking terms. I do find it frustrating, to be honest, because I find it so indicative of what is wrong with Washington. If my husband and I, who love each other, and most of the time even like each other, can't have a civilized and respectful conversation, I can't imagine how dirty the fighting is in DC.
ReplyDeleteExactly. There are so many things you can disagree on in a relationship that it seems like being political opposites starts you off on a bad note, and could easily result in the situation you just mentioned.
DeleteWe try not to talk politics! We've been married for 15 years, so it works most of the time. We got married at 20 and 21, and I don't think either of us had truly formed a political identity at that age.
ReplyDeleteHowever: if I just started dating my husband today. . . I don't know if I would have married someone with some of the political beliefs he has. And I think he would say the same thing. We rarely fight about anything else, though. Every 4 years we hit a rough patch!
I'm with you, it'd be hard to deal with. But I can see where it would happen in cases like 3sweeties above, where you meet & fall in love before you have fully developed your political views. And some people/couples thrive on conflict. I prefer a peaceful home, and a common enemy to bitch about.
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ReplyDeletePolitical opposites, and I've very passionate and outspoken. Worked well, I think we help each other grow and see other viewpoints.
ReplyDeleteNot sure that would work in Canada. I'm told a surprisingly high percentage of Canadian don't even know who their Prime Minister is. I'd actually wager more know who Obama is than Harper, as Obama seems to be in the Canadian news more often.
ReplyDeleteWay back in the day, we had a patient who had ICU psychosis from the many days we spent trying to drag him out of cardiogenic shock. We finally got him extubated and were performing a routine mental status exam. Not surprisingly, he was failing miserably as to day of the week, date, and even where he was. We finally got to "Do you know who the president is?" Without missing a beat, he looked me straight in the eye and answered, "That a$$hole, Nixon." Yes, it was the one answer he got right. I guess he felt passionately enough about his political views to hold that in his memory bank. (And, yes, I am older 'n dirt.)
ReplyDeleteI am always befuddled when I learn that someone I really like and even respect holds vastly different political and/or religious views than I do. Frankly, it is hard for me to continue to see that person in the same way. Tricia
The fact that we have to avoid having discussions about politics with people with differing views than us speaks volumes as to how our political and cultural systems are failing. We supposedly live in a democracy and there is supposed to be an exchange of ideas. If we can't have a civil conversation between people who disagree then reality has become reality tv.
ReplyDeleteDid have one really funny moment in residency when a junior resident asked a patient who was President and the patient answered Bush. The resident took that as the right answer and tried to move on. As the chief resident, I interrupted and asked, "Which Bush?" The patient asked me what I meant. Further discussion revealed he was referring to George Herbert Bush (dad, not the son) and was still temporally disoriented and missing a few years.
i am fairly liberal...my husand is condeserative.....you can only imagine. We have been married 27 years. i guess other things take precident (ha, ha, that came to mind!) over politics.
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