Violet was really cross-eyed when she was born, but that’s not uncommon. I had thought that the problem had corrected itself, but a couple months ago it seemed to come back. She looked slightly cross-eyed to me most of the time. At a check-up, her pediatrician saw the crossing and referred us to a pediatric ophthalmologist.
I was terrified we’d walk out of that appointment with a baby wearing glasses. As adorable as baby glasses are, I really didn’t want to deal with fighting her to keep the glasses on.
Luckily, my fear didn’t become a reality.
Our ophthalmologist happens to be of Korean descent, just like my husband. After he examined Violet, he pulled a picture of his own daughter out of a nearby drawer and said Violet AND his daughter have pseudoesotropia, which basically means pseudo-cross-eyed. They look cross-eyed, but they aren’t cross-eyed at all. It’s a common physical trait in Asian kids. It’s my understanding that what happens is the epicanthal fold (what makes an eye look Asian) can obscure the view of the eye and make it appear like it’s crossing when it is not.
I essentially took my child to a specialist to have her diagnosed as Asian.
When I reported the doctor’s findings to my husband, the son of Korean immigrants, he laughed and said “YOU should have known that!” as a joke. Really, he’s the one who should have known this and warned me! But he didn’t. He’s completely oblivious to most of the things I need to know as the white mother of three Asian kids. As a result, white girl me took my daughter to a specialist to get her diagnosed as having Asian eyes. “Why yes, ma’am, your Korean daughter DOES have an epicanthal fold! Good job noticing it!”
What’s sad is this is not the first time I’ve worried about a common Asian trait. When Rose was a baby, I was scared about what appeared to be a vicious bruise on her lower back. It turned out to be a Mongolian spot, which 90% of Asian children have. My husband was oblivious to this too.
And these are the things you never consider when you become the mother of biracial children. You might just take your child to the doctor to have them diagnosed as being a member of that other race. In my defense, pseudoesotropia is apparently one of the leading reasons parents take their infants to ophthalmologists! So, I’m not the only idiot running to the doctor to have their kid diagnosed as Asian.
Funny! What's "scary" about Mongolian spots is that there have been instances -presumably in the distant past, I hope - where children were taken away from their parents because doctors suspected abuse, only for another doctor to finally figure out that the child was NOT being abused, but just had a Mongolian spot.
ReplyDeleteI've always been worried about that and have been warning the people who take care of her about the "bruise" from the beginning. Our doctor says people are more educated about Mongolian spots these days so we don't have to worry about it as much, but I'm still paranoid about it. Luckily the spot has faded a lot.
Deleteit is the prerogative of any young mother, biracial children or not, to take your child to the doctor for all sorts of ultimately unnecessary worries! coming from a dark haired, italian-greek decent, i thought my towheaded daughter had no eyebrows when she was born because they were so light they just blended in with her skin....
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad...I just saw a baby last night, parents were vietnamese, who asked me when the "big bruise" would disappear from her bottom. I educated them about Mongolian spots and noted its location in the medical record.
ReplyDeleteEVERY new mother is scared. And she should be. A 5 to 13 lb child(yes my babies were big) just got dropped in her lap. And there is no instruction manual, just a lot of well-meaning and sometimes conflicting advice. How to you lay the baby in the crib. My mother taught me tummy-down to prevent aspiration, but no the advice is opposite.
ReplyDeleteAs for Mongolian spots, my thoroughly Caucasian babies had tiny ones. But I was worried about them. So I asked the Dr. Got a laugh from him. Changed docs to one who explained w/o talking down what they were.
My daughter had pseudoesotropia and we're pretty much white bread. The peds opthalmologist thought I was a bit of a dummy but hid it well. (She's 30 now and her eyes are fine).
ReplyDeleteI originally wrote this a couple months ago and already see an improvement. It's pretty confusing to look at regardless of race.
DeleteCute kid, by the way.
ReplyDeleteI just seen an episode on Judge Judy where these parents had CPS called on them because the parents did not tell their daycare provider their kids had mongolian spots. :-p
ReplyDeleteI've read horror stories about it! The second my daughter was enrolled in preschool, I shot out an email to her teacher warning her about it! It's faded a lot since she was a baby, but it still looks like she was bruised.
DeleteWe purposefully found a dentist and orthodontist who was familiar with Asian oral development for our daugthers because Asian facial structures vary from caucasian facial structures and can affect dentistry and the need for braces significantly.(We adopted our daughters from South Korea).
ReplyDeleteI wonder if we even have any Asian dentists in the area. We're pretty limited here in the Midwest, but that's definitely a good idea!
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