So last week at work some attending in the internal med part of the office complained to the office manager that my shirt was too low-cut. I have no idea which doctor because none of them have ever spoken to me.
Anyway, the office manager decided to talk to me about this at a time when I wasn't wearing said shirt, so I don't even know which shirt it was. So she told me not to wear it, I said that was fine, and the world kept on turning.
Since that time, the office manager has had a freaking vendetta against me. I was getting coffee the other day and I noticed her eyes were glued to my chest.
Me: Can I help you?
Office Manager: That shirt is not appropriate for a professional workplace.
It should be noted, I was wearing a cardigan. And I had a shirt on under the cardigan.
Me: Really?
Office Manager: It's a little tight, don't you think? I'm sure your patients are getting uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable staring at your chest.
So wait. She's staring at my chest and she's uncomfortable?
Me: OK. I won't wear it again.
Office Manager: Please don't. I don't understand why you young girls get them so big.
Me: Wait, what?
Office Manager: I don't get why you feel the need to have surgery. Can't you just be happy with what you have instead of getting them so big?
Me: Oh my G-d. You think I had a boob job.
Office Manager: Well, didn't you?
Me: No! These are all natural.
At that point I was pissed as hell so I started getting a little obnoxious. I asked her if she wanted to touch them or see them. She said that wasn't necessary.
Seriously though, she stares at my boobs, accuses me of having a boob job, and then complains that I'm the unprofessional one?
Good luck with your pending sexual harassment suit against that office manager.
ReplyDeleteI agree....the only one inappropriate is the office manager & the attending. A trip to HR may be in your future. Good luck
ReplyDeleteAgree with above about going to HR.
ReplyDeleteWow, talk about stepping over the line. Document the time and date of each occurence and report how uncomfortable you are with the office manager to HR each time. If you report it each time it will force them to take action due to the potential liability.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, that's unfreakingbelievable. I would totally report it. You need to protect yourself.
ReplyDeleteSo basically you are unprofessional for having large breasts or a nice body? As someone who accidentally shows cleavage unless I'm wearing a turtleneck, I wonder what acceptable clothes would be? And I agree, that's sexual harassment.
ReplyDeleteYikes. Definitely agree with the other commenters about reporting this. Unbelievably inappropriate!!! Seriously, what's wrong with people??
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD FIZZY- bragging about how skinny you are isn't enough, you have to brag about your giant natural breasts too??
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, that is incredibly rude and unprofessional of her and you should report it.
I don't think Fizzy is Dr. Orthochick.
DeleteWow..someone has small breasts!
DeleteUhhhh, OK i will be politically incorrect, unprofessional and sexist. A picture would help !
DeleteYou should have answered, a la Seinfeld: "They're real and they're spectacular!"
ReplyDeleteYou beat me to it.
DeleteAward for best comment!
DeleteAbsolutely file a sexual harassment complaint. That should quiet things down a bit, and under the circumstances I'd say that you're well within your right to do so.
ReplyDeletewow, she definitely did not get any training in how to be a manager. And if she DID then she should ask for her money back because it wasn't very good. That is harassment. Like, no matter what you wear in her eyes it is inappropriate due to the size of the breasts anyways. I don't feel like those conversations regarding appropriate clothing in the workplace should occur out in the open like that either. Anyone could have overheard or walked by at the time the conversation occurred. I would have wanted to throw my coffee on her.
ReplyDeletewear a burqa next time, see if that's inappropriate too.
ReplyDeleteGO TO HR NOW. Seriously. Document the times and dates and specific things that were said. Also, if you can squeeze out a couple of tears because you are SO UPSET about being sexualized in that way, HR really goes for that. Also, the word "attorney" casually tossed into the conversation.
ReplyDeleteClearly I've been going to the wrong hospital. Also, yeah, Sexual Harassment Suit Ahoy!
ReplyDeleteOMG I can not believe that!!! Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through. I agree with everyone else about filing the sexual harrasment. That is terrible, wow.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I'm alone in this opinion, but don't go to HR. They are not there to help you, they are there to protect the company from lawsuits. I suppose you *could* sue them, but that would really screw up your career, and even if you did, how are you going to prove the manager said what you allege. You're screwed. Best to put this behind you and look for a new job (or only wear turtlenecks to work.)
ReplyDeleteWell, this isn't something that is going to generate a lawsuit anyway. A first offense that didn't involve groping or a threat is just going to be noted and documented. Maybe the manager will get a little talking to, but that would be the extent of it. The important thing is to get it put on the books, so that if it continues there is a pattern of repeated offenses in the documentation, which will trigger sterner responses.
DeleteAlso, it will make the manager squirm, which is always nice.
Or it could label her a "troublemaker" and get HR started on a file about her. I know, it's not fair, but this is how many (most) businesses operate.
Deleteyou should ask her if she thought it would me more appropriate if you came in your under wear or if this person wanted to come over to your house at look at your clothing and she then decided what is appropriate . I think this might shut her up.
ReplyDeleteps good luck dealing with her
Go to HR. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
ReplyDeleteThat is pretty bad. Maybe next time she sees fit to comment on your body, you could offer to have the two of you go to HR together to clear up the issue.
ReplyDeleteI doubt the male patients mind one little bit.
Studies have shown that it is impossible for both males and females to stop staring at a woman's chest if her breasts are more than 1/3 the size of her head.
ReplyDeleteThe solution is clear: Women with large breasts should wear constrictive breast binders so I don't have to feel uncomfortable while I'm staring at their chests. If the breast appearance remains excessively large with the binder then surgical breast reduction is the next most appropriate step.
This has got to be what Romney was talking about when he mentioned "binders full of women".
DeleteAmanda
Pics??? jk
ReplyDeleteHere, here!
DeleteJoking aside, I think this can turn into true discrimination---if nothing you wear is deemed "appropriate" because of your body shape, and you are regarded as "unprofessional" in your work environment for something you really can't change (getting a breast reduction should never be a job requirement!). I'm sorry you're going through that! (and, no, I'm not just sympathetic because I have the same problem---no one would ever accuse me of having had a boob job, especially now after 2 kids).
ReplyDeleteAnd not one single "pics or it didn't happen" comment until now? This post was perfect for it!
ReplyDeleteThis is awful. I worry all the time about my large chest and how to dress so that I don't look unprofessional. I feel like they just attract attention and it's not cool or fun, it's just embarrassing. And now I know that I right to worry.
ReplyDeleteI think this is totally inappropriate and I think you should consider keeping track of this and at least bringing to their attention that the office manager's comments were out of line and that they are treading on thin ice.
My guess is that "some attending in internal med" is actually the office manager themselves and the office manager made up the fact that someone else complained. Its a classic passive aggressive tactic.
ReplyDelete"I'm uncomfortable starting at them"= "I'm secretly turned on by staring at them" lol.....but ditto at what everyone else says, definitely get this on the books with HR!
ReplyDeleteI am 34H sized cup (and I wear a 6 dress so they stand out) and I've gotten this kind of crap all my life...except at the hospital. I wear scrubs at the hospital. Not once have been asked if I sued the doctor who gave me this large breasts there (at my former job, someone really asked me that..."Did you sue that doctor or did you want them that big?" I'm supposed to sue God or genetics, I guess).
ReplyDeleteI think scrubs are the ultimate answer for body discrimination. You feel like you're wearing pajamas or baggy gym clothes. Heck, a woman I work with was 6 months pregnant before I noticed. Somehow the chicks on TV seen to get really form fitting ones, but I've never had that problem.
Holy cow I could have fun with it. Initially I'd be incredibly furious, but then I'd start up all kinds of conversations.
ReplyDelete"You seem to be unable to take your eyes off my breasts. Perhaps you would prefer it if I wasn't wearing a shirt? We could go back to your office and discuss this further.
Or...
"You seem to have a serious obsession with my breasts. Does your girlfriend know? (Or: Is your husband aware of your lesbian tendencies? I'm open for experimentation. Perhaps both you and your husband could join.)
I find that discussion with anybody doesn't help. The passive aggressiveness never goes away even if "disciplinary action" occurs. It's better to say something and make the other person suffer in silence at 3 in the morning. You know, feed it right back to them.
I am spending my precious sleep time reading your blog. Thanks, you are hilarious!
ReplyDelete