I got stuck in general surgery clinic today AKA "please tell me more about your episodes of diarrhea" clinic. Seriously, general surgery is obsessed with bowel movements. I forgot that little tidbit and I didn't ask my patients if they were passing gas appropriately this morning. In clinic, all I did was talk about poo. I figured it was a new low in my clinical life when I had to ask patients to please describe the quality of their poo--the texture, color, odor, etc.
It got worse--In the middle of clinic my second patient decided that she needed to poo. Not only did she need to poo, but she needed me to take her to the bathroom to poo. Then once she was done, she showed me her poo. Then she needed someone to bring her back to her room, status-post poo, so we could talk a little more about her poo.
It was a new low, even for me.
I appreciate a good fart joke as much as the next chick, but this is actually pretty gross. I don't like looking at my own crap in the toilet--I really, really, really do not like looking at other peoples'. I'm really glad that I don't have to deal with the colon in my real life. If the postop ortho patient is constipated, you chalk it up to their pain meds and give them a laxative. If they're having diarrhea, you chalk it up to their antibiotics and increase their fluids. I guess this month I'm supposed to be learning more about poo so that I have options besides those two, but truth be told, I really don't want to learn more about poo. I have no intellectual curiosity as far as dung is concerned. And I'm OK with that at this point in my life.