The other day when I was scheduled to take a screw out of a guy I went in to see him before the surgery to make sure the paperwork was filled out and everything.
Patient: Can I have the screw after you take it out?
Me: Uh, sure
Patient: So I can keep it? And take it home?
Me: Yeah, OK...what are you going to do with it?
Patient's wife: We're going to put it on the mantel next to Pa!
I'm guessing they mean Pa's ashes are on the mantel and not Pa himself sitting on the mantel, but I feel like if my soul was hanging out in someone's living room for all eternity, I wouldn't be all that comforted by a syndesmotic screw next to me.