Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Dr. Orthochick: Worst morning...

Patient: I love your hair this morning. You're wearing the same earrings as yesterday, aren't you? They're very pretty.

Me: Thank you. I'm going to check your incision now-- [leans over]

Patient: Oh honey! Are you pregnant? [puts hand on my stomach]

Me: Uh, no. I guess I'm just fat.

The annoying thing is, I can't play this off as her being grossly demented if she remembered my earrings. I guess I'm just getting fat, although if we're getting technical about the whole thing, I lost around 10 lbs from this time last year so I guess I must have really been a whale then.

Well, that ruined my morning.


  1. Better get in shape. Surgical career you chose requires hours of standing. Don't take it personally, we all get comments.

    1. Dr. Orthochick is an athlete and in great physical condition.

  2. Never ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you can see the baby crowning. First rule of being a (hu)man.

  3. She's anorexic and has issues because she likes to project insulting comments to others because she's suffered through that before. End of story.

  4. The fact that she physically touched your stomach speaks volumes about her mental status.

    A patient once insisted that I was pregnant even when I said otherwise. I was wearing a high-waisted rather billowy shirt, but I weighed about 90 lbs at the time and most definitely did not look pregnant.

  5. Why the fuck does a woman being pregnant make strangers think they can pat her belly? I see this all the time, and don't get it. Most of the same people would never do that to an obviously non-pregnant woman.