Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Reasons not to have kids

One day in residency, I was having lunch with three people who did not have children, two of whom were female attendings who were in their 50s (so it's safe to say the childbearing years are over). The third was a male resident who had definitively decided not to have kids (although later actually did).

The conversation was basically about how horrible having children is and how it ruins your life and wrecks your marriage. I was NOT participating in this end of the conversation because I didn't agree.

One of the attendings involved in this conversation was Dr. Blabber, the most notoriously horrible attending that our hospital has every had, so nicknamed for the painfully long and irrelevant conversations she had with every patient, especially on weekend rounds. She was universally thought of as incompetent, slow, and dumb by other attendings, therapists, and nursing staff. She was so awful that even though she was a terrible teacher, the powers that be were afraid to take her resident away because they thought she would kill someone if she were all alone.

So this is what she said:

"I made the decision not to have kids because I didn't think I would be able to have children and also be able to do my job really well."

I thought that was absolutely hilarious. This was what she called doing her job "really well"??? She should have just had the kids.

The best moment was when the resident asked me how having a baby affected my marriage. I was about to answer something along the lines of, in some ways we're closer, but some things are more difficult because we don't get to spend as much time with just the two of us.

But before I could say this, Dr. Blabber broke in, "There IS no marriage. It's just about the baby."

Thanks for your input on my life, Dr. B.

Actually, she's someone who really seemed like she should have had kids. She's got kind of matronly quality, and she loves telling people what to do in a very patronizing tone.


  1. She was probably right that she couldn't do the job and have kids. And wouldn't you feel sorry for her kids if she had them? Think of the children.

  2. I always find if funny when people make comments like that. Or the opposite -- you shouldn't have kids if you work because there's no way a working parent could ever do a good job, and they didn't want to quit their job. It's sort of sad that they (misguidedly) felt that way so strongly that they deprived themselves of having kids. On the other hand, maybe they are right and THEY wouldn't have been able to do a good job....

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