Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Dr. Orthochick: Calculus

Patient's wife: We're worried he might have a brain injury from falling off the ladder

Me: Well, the CT scan didn't show anything but just to make sure, we'll do a cognitive screen on him

Patient's wife: What if he has a brain injury that's so severe that he can't work again?

Me: Sir, what is the derivative of 3x squared?

Patient: 6x.

Me: I think he'll be OK.

For the record, I was the only person in the room who knew he was right. Thank you, premed calculus requirement. You finally came in handy for something.

(Fizzy says: You should have asked the integral of 6x and dinged him if he left off the constant.)


  1. I just asked my father that same question. He passed.

  2. I would have asked what a "derivative" was...and then followed up with "I can't do simple arithmetic, never mind calculus. Ask me something else."