Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Dr. Orthochick: Court

Me seeing a new patient in clinic today. Middle aged guy with knee pain.

Me: So what's been going on?
Patient: Well, I'm an Officer of the Court. So I need to be very active and I'm always walking or running when I'm in court. And lately my knee has gotten so bad that I can hardly do my job.
Me: OK, so--
Patient: I don't know if you've ever been to court in session, but it's busy. I need to be on my feet. So when my knee gets bad, I have trouble walking from one side of the court to the other.
Me: So are you a judge or a bailiff or something?
Patient: No, I'm a basketball referee.

That is really not my first thought when I hear Officer of the Court.

Also, he kept on referring to it as "officiating in court," which I guess is not technically incorrect, but is really freaking confusing.


  1. What a tool. I would also say he is "on" the court not in. Slight difference but meaningful

  2. Why did he say "court in session" that's clearly legal court, otherwise it would have been "I don't know if you've ever been to the court during a game", what?

  3. He said it that way because there are some people (usually men) who thinks it's clever to mislead people people intentionally so they can correct them and feel superior about it. It's a power trip. A stupid, inane power trip.

    Next time say something like, "For a basketball ref, you're really shitty at describing what you do."