Dr. Orthochick: Social Work

Medical Social Worker: You patient is allergic to (very cheap) Drug A but she doesn't have insurance. What are you going to send her home on?

Me: Well, we could put her on Drug B, which is cheap, but then she'll need to stay in the hospital an extra 2 days to make sure it's working, plus she's going to need weekly lab draws. Drug C is going to be approximately $140 a month and she'll have to learn how to inject herself. Occasionally you can get assistance with that, but it takes at least 24 hours for the paperwork to go through, so we're not going to get that until tomorrow so she's going to have to pay for another night here. Drug D is going to cost $280 a month but at least it's a pill that you take once a day. We're not going to be able to get assistance with coverage because she had an elective surgery. The only other alternative is Drug E, which we can take advantage of a loophole and get it covered for $15 a month if I call the company before 16:00, but it's not technically approved for (this issue) so she has a higher risk of (complication). So I'll go in and talk to her and see which option she wants and then I'll make the necessary phone calls.

MSW: Do you need anything?

Me: Nah, I have the numbers for [Drug Company D and Drug Company E] in my phone and the forms are saved on my usb drive.

MSW: You've done this before, haven't you?

Me: Once or twice.

See, this is why attendings choose to work with residents. Because otherwise they have to do all this crap themselves.