On my last post about people RSVPing late to a child's birthday party, someone commented:
"I agree that not RSVPing until after the date is a bit rude, but I have a feeling that even if the people did RSVP and didn't show up [Fizzy would] still find fault."
Well.... yeah! I pay by the kid, so if someone doesn't show up, I'm paying extra for them for nothing! I paid an extra several hundred dollars for my wedding reception due to people saying they'd show but didn't for no apparent reason. And I had negative income at the time. Anyone who's ever planned an event should realize this is rude.
I mean, how hard is it to tell someone you're going to be somewhere in a timely fashion and then actually show up? Doesn't anyone have a sense of responsibility anymore?
That same lovely commenter also wrote:
"I'm sorry, but the weekly whines seem really trivial and nit picky lately."
Ha. Okay, I'll try to cover more important topics like I used to, like car decals, how nobody reads the books in my book club, or my very first whine, about how the cleaning woman won't take out the garbage.
The RSVP post was a legit complaint. And for all those who responded that it wasn't, or that its perfectly ok for them to not respond by the RSVP date or try to squeeze themselves or their kids into an event last minute, here's a newsflash -- YOU ARE RUDE.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, it doesn't MATTER why a party or event planner puts down an RSVP date. Because they are ordering kids' party favors on Amazon is just as legitimate a reason as because they need to put a deposit down on a venue and exact headcount makes the difference between needing a place requiring a $5K deposit or a larger one needing $25K deposit.
And to the poster that simplifies her party planning so she's not as stressed out about it? Good for you, but you are incredibly condescending with your implication that people who haven't dumbed down the party planning process are idiots for letting that kind of stress get to them.
RSVPing on time is a social rule. Be polite and follow the fucking rules. If you don't, then you are just being a selfish jackass.
Agreed - the original post was totally legit. If you actually care about your kids' overall social development, you have to care about the parties and their attendees, too. We sweat them, too, both when we're planning and when we're attending.
ReplyDeleteAnd to the commenter on the original post who said that a dad has never cared about a gift bag, wrong. I'm a dad (and not a stay-at-home dad - I work 80 hours a week), and I've been right there at the party store trying to get the last minute adds squared away. If you're a dad and you've never worried about class gifts and birthday presents/favors, then you're not carrying your share of the family load...
Greg
1. I agree with you on the RSVP thing.
ReplyDelete2. It's your blog. You can do whatever you want with it.
Ditto
DeleteNow there's a legit reason to bitch.
ReplyDeleteI'm honored ;-)
So much for making an attempt at constructive criticism- maybe not as constructive as I would have liked. Grumpy is right it's your blog, but the only one to seems to ever write anything without complaining about something is Orthochick. I was trying to point that out.
Just a reminder to the first anonymous person- this is all over a kids birthday party not a $5000+ wedding. Things come up, especially when you have kids or a big family, plans change, that's life. Yeah it would be great if the world was a perfect place and people respected others time and money, but lets be realistic they don't. Oh and please heed your own advice and be polite and watch your language. ;-)
It seems like I often get comments complaining that I always do X, then I have to search weeks back for a single example of X.
DeleteMaybe I'm due for another post about how skinny i am.
Hey Anon, way to continue to talk right past the point everyone is trying to make. It doesn't matter that you think Fizzy is overreacting all because she over or under-ordered party supplies from Amazon. Are you trying to tell her that's it's not all about her? You're probably right, because apparently it is all about you. Thanks for the enlightenment.
DeleteYes, things come up and deadlines are missed. So don't make you're lack of organization someone else's problem. If you miss the response deadline, teach your kid a lesson and stay home. Quit deflecting your issues onto others.
DeleteFizzy, yes it is time to post about skinny you are, would not hurt to add in how sexy your hair is and how everyone that meets you thinks you are awesome.
DeleteDon't forget to mention that you have giant boobs.
DeleteI think you should charge no-shows like you would patients for missed appointments. $150 each.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, Anon, but failure to RSVP in a timely manner is absolutely worth complaining about. The reason people don't respect others' time and money is because we let them. In a better world, someone who didn't RSVP would never get invited anywhere again. Someone who failed to show without having a good reason (and something better came up isn't good enough) would never get invited anywhere again. And they would understand WHY they were being shunned. Sure an occasional lapse from someone normally punctilious is forgivable. But the cavalier way people treat invitations has become epidemic and maybe it'll only cease when hosts stop being "realistic" and start enforcing societal rules.
ReplyDeleteKeep on writing what you want, Fizzy.
Anon is probably the same person who jumps into the 12 items or less lane at the grocery store with her 30 items a split second before you get there with your 10 items. After all, she's busy and has no time to wait in the regular line. And if you dare shoot her a dirty look, she'd probably look at you and just say "it happens."
ReplyDeleteI agree 1000% with you, Fizzy. I was in this same situation a couple of months back except it was my birthday. I wanted to do a girls night out with a certain theme in mind. Two months in advance, I let my friends know what I wanted to do & everyone agreed. I sent periodic reminders & updates about the place I wanted to have my get-together at & let everyone know a week before I booked this place that I was making the reservations. Everyone acted so excited & couldn't wait to hang out. Well, sure enough, 2 days before we all were supposed to go out either folks said they can't make it or just never showed up! Very disappointing because at this point, I couldn't reschedule or get a refund. Of the 9-10 ladies that was supposed to show up, it was 1 friend, my sister & I.
ReplyDeleteI would've been totally fine with just going to dinner or getting drinks if everyone couldn't have made it. So yes, when you are spending money regardless of how much it is, & regardless of what the occasion is, someone is paying for you to be there & people need to be respectful of that!!
That's awful!
DeleteI would have been so furious if I paid over $200 for this party and had my daughter be devastated that only one person or possibly nobody showed up. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Um-m, Fizzy, here we have an example of how advanced planning did not even work for mature adults when they only needed to get themselves to the venue. The first Anon comment is pretty fun to read. Person suggesting someone else is rude, yet using 4 letter words.
DeleteYour logic doesn't follow. It is not ok for adults to no-show or not RSVP either.
DeleteThe inability for some people to commit something more than 1 day in advance doesn't seem to be anything new. I recall having a hell of a time in intramural soccer getting six out of 10 people to declare that they will be available for the game. It's been the same kind of thing in adulthood as you have described. Apparently everybody else has much busier and more important lives and I am just one big loser who has enough free time to commit to something more than 7 days in advance.
ReplyDeleteGood to know I'm not the only loser out there. :)
DeleteSeriously, it's nice to see there are a lot of people out there that still adhere to the principle of basic courtesy. I'm far from a perfect person, no one is, but I try to stick to the rule that if one is being asked to commit to something, you should either commit or not by the prescribed deadline, and if you did commit, stick with the obligation unless a true emergency arises.
The general lack of thoughtfulness that people seem to have towards others is really mind boggling, and it seems to only be getting worse as these people now, either intentionally or completely inadvertently, pass this mindset on to their children.
I'm happy to see that there are still people out there who care about basic courtesy. I hate when people can't commit to anything, when everything is uncertain until you're already in the middle of it.
ReplyDelete